Author: The Hellion

Personality Crisis: Tips on Getting Along With Your Bandmates

I want to state right off the bat that I am totally qualified to write about how to get along with your bandmates. I know this because, at the time of writing this, I have punched only one of my bandmates in the face.

It is Really Unlikely that Your Arm Will Suddenly Snap Off: Fear and Your First Show

When I was a kid, I was scared of almost everything. I was what child psychologists might call a “highly imaginative child,” which is what a normal person would call...

Gimme Gimme Gimme: Gifts for Your Bandmates That Hopefully Won’t Result in Them Taking a Tremendous Pee in Your Coat Closet

Hey everybody, HMXHellion here, freshly plumped with a couple extra pounds of lovin’, cheerfully gained on my Thanksgiving weekend diet, composed of such health-conscious foods as “bacon grease” and “stuff cooked in bacon grease.” After eating enough to feed a bathtub full of panthers, I spent much of the weekend shopping, as, I’m sure, did many of you. 

Fashion Victim: Dressing like a Rockstar

I don’t know anything about fashion. I feel I should get that out of the way right now. The best item of clothing I've ever owned was a pair of R2D2 Underoos that I had when I was 6, and I'm pretty sure that even back then I wasn't accessorizing properly. My co-worker and fashion-plate gal pal Naoko Takamoto (who is a member of Rock Band's own That Handsome Devil) once told me, "Your taste in shoes is like your taste in dudes: sometimes I see something so revolting that I immediately think, 'Oh man, I should tell Helen about this, she would love it.'"

This Gear’s Model: Extremely General Tips on Finding the Right Gear for You

Welcome back, everyone, to another installment of 52 Weeks in the Life of a Rock Band. I’ve gotten some great feedback from all of you about this series and have received some fantastic questions as well. In response to the most-commonly asked question, yes, Alex Rigopulos really is that dreamy in real life. And what follows here is my attempt at answering the second most-commonly asked question: what kind of gear should I get?

Husker Don’t: Picking a Band Name and Learning to Live With It

Let’s imagine, for a moment, that you’re deciding what to do on a Friday night. You’ve looked at the schedules for all the venues in your area, and you recognize none of the bands playing, but as a good little Rock Band fan, you are committed to the idea of seeing some live music, however unfamiliar. 

Hell, It Turns Out, IS a Bad Place to Be: Finding a Rehearsal Space

People who know me know that I am not particularly "precious" when it comes to cleanliness. I’ve been known to eat fried chicken that I drunkenly left sitting on a stack of LP’s in my living room overnight... three days later. My desk at work features such interesting detritus as pistachio shells, snapped guitar strings, and at any given moment, at least seven mostly empty Polar seltzer bottles.

The Hellion's Guide to Rock: Part Two

The Hellion's follow-up post to picking an instrument teaches you how to pick your bandmates.

The Hellion's Guide to Rock: Part One

TheHellion gives tips on how to start a band, even if you already have a 401k and don't know how to play an instrument.

52 Weeks to Rock Introduction

The year was 1982. I don’t remember where I was, but my family didn’t have cable, so I must’ve been at a babysitter’s house after nursery school.

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