I’m a Role Model – A Conversation with GWAR

WARNING: This interview contains graphic language!

We were lucky enough to swing by the (formerly known as) Mess With Texas event during SXSW, and were privileged to get some face time with a band from Antarctica, named GWAR. Their leader, Oderus Urungus, treated us to some of his interplanetary hospitality and chatted a tad about GWAR coming to RBN, censorship, and teenagers. This is probably the most profanity-laced interview well ever do on, so enjoy it!

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HMXHenry: We're here at South By Southwest still, but now with Oderus Urungus of GWAR.

Oderus Urungus: That's right. It's me, Oderus Urungus, lead singer of the mightiest band in all reality, and Fox News Interplanetary Correspondant.

HMXH: So this is a tremendous treat for me, and hopefully for you guys as well, Gwar, I'm not sure if it's been announced yet, is coming to Rock Band Network. Did you have a hand in this at all?

OU: Well, yeah, I'm in the band.

HMXH: Oh, well, did you have a hand in bringing the song to Rock Band Network.

OU: Actually, I had no idea it was even in there. But many times I sit there and I play that f***ing game, and I suck at it. And I sit there and think, "Maybe if I was doing a Gwar song, I wouldn't suck so bad. So yes, I understand we're doing "Gor-Gor" or something and it's gonna be f***ing awesome.

HMXH: It's going to be tremendous. I'm very excited. Do you guys have any plans to release any more songs in Rock Band Network?

OU: Well I think if we had it our way, it'd be an entire f***ing rock star thing all about Gwar. In fact, there would be no other songs allowed, except maybe Diamanda Galas. Have you got Diamanda Galas in Rock Band?

HMXH: No, not yet. Hopefully soon, though. Fingers crossed.

OU: That would be an interesting one.

HMXH: I'm not sure if you're aware, but Rock Band is technically rated T for Teen, so we unfortunately have to make some edits. What is Gwar's stance on censoring music, or censorship in general?

OU: The thing is, teens have genitals, just like everybody else. They ****, they ****, and they have really dark lustful desires. And I think it's about time that we agreed and admitted and said hell yes, and indulged ourselves and until I see a Rock Band movie thing machine game squirting **** actually out of the television set, I just simply will not sleep.

HMXH: Ah, well. We'll put the design team on that.

OU: Get the design team on it goddammit, we need a goddamn, motherf***ing video game. But nobody's got the balls to f***ing put it out. I mean, so what? I sodomize elephants, it's no big deal. That s*** sells. Gwar will always be there on the cutting edge of everything that is filthy. If it wasn't for Gwar, you wouldn't have "Beavis and Butthead." You wouldn't have "South Park." And Kiss never would've put that s*** back on.

HMXH: I couldn't agree any more. So if we have any good luck, any good fortune at all in 2010, do you think that when we release Gwar: Rock Band, we could also include a buttworm peripheral?

OU: Oh, f*** yeah. I'm your guy. Send the cameras. Send your team, the creative team, whoever the f*** it is, I'm your guy. I should be on that thing all the time. I mean, I'm obviously erudite, charming, I stink. I'm f***ing horny. I'm a role model goddammit for the kids out there. Basically, I'm here to tell you kids, you can do anything you want with your life. If you want to be from outer space, and you want to pretend you're from Antarctica and you eat babies for a living, you can do that and people will actually pay you money.

HMXH: [laughs] I think that's everything we needed to hear and more. Thank you so much for your time.

OU: You're welcome. Gwar lives!