Fish McGill is an Associate Producer on the web team at Harmonix and Professor of Art at the 52 Weeks to Rock University. As the Professor of Art Fish creates and delivers the drawings in the weekly series. This year’s summer session convenes today, time for a summer cram session!
52 Weeks is off this week for summer vacation chillaxing on the beach, sipping on mojitos out of a big jug while being fanned by a team of cheerleaders and record executives. Or maybe it’s just because we’ve been busy launching this - you decide. Let’s go for a jaunt down memory lane and take a look back at some useful lessons applicable for these summer months from the sometimes sordid, sometimes super series so far. Time for some summer school! In the spirit of sitcom clip shows, here is a top ten list of lessons to bone up on.
Just Lust: A Guide To Making Your Fans Want To French Kiss You Big Time BY PROFESSOR THE HELLION
Inspiring lust is a simple and direct way to continue driving the critical mass of raving admirers needed for superstardom. Learn firsthand from The Hellion just how to catapult your libido into a new stratosphere with poignant tips on driving your rabid fans wild and inspiring foam in the mouths of the soon-to-be obsessed.
Rock The World, Pass The Twizzlers: A Crash Course In Tour-Bus Survival BY DEAN BRETT MILANO
Transportation is the key to a triumphant tour and as the old saying goes “showing up is half the battle.” Learn from the wisdom of semi grizzled rock veterans first hand in this course.
Are We Famous Yet?: How To Know When You've Made It Big BY PROFESSOR THE HELLION
All successful cases must have an abundance of evidence in favor of your argument. You will learn each and every signal of potential fame in this lecture series including innovative new uses for skittles among other things.
Getting Signed: How To Get Your Demo Past The Intern BY PROFESSOR CHRISTINE JANDREAU
Required course for all students with internships this summer. This course covers strategies for standing out amongst massive quantities of semi-professional music submissions.
Don't Go On The Boat: The Promotional Party BY DEAN BRETT MILANO
DEAN BRETT shares stories about promo parties once you have an album to promote. Learn how to plan a good promotional party or survive a bad one. Prerequisite: having a demo.
Touring 101: Surviving California BY PROFESSOR ALEX NAVARRO
Planning to tour California with your band? You need this guide by CA tour veteran HMXAleX. He tells you where to play, where to avoid, and where to play tourist in between gigs. Supplies needed: map of California.
Meet Your Rock Heroes! True Encounter Stories BY DEAN BRETT MILANO
This tale about meeting your favorite rock stars teaches you how to keep your cool once you’re a star meeting your own personal rock heroes. Please leave the tears and glossy 8X10s at home.
The Gig From Hell: What Happens When Everything Goes Wrong BY PROFESSOR NORD
The best laid plans of mice and men…will inevitably go awry come gig night. This minute-by-minute account of a gig gone horribly, painfully wrong should give you some ideas on how to better prepare for your own shows. Not required: keyboard player with an unreliable van.
Giving Props To Props BY DEAN BRETT MILANO
DEAN BRETT covers the best – and worst – in stage prop history. There’s also an overview of potential props and how to use them. Prerequisite class: Flamethrowers 101.
Adventures In Booking: A Guide To Getting A Show BY PROFESSOR JESSICA SMITH
A master class in booking shows for your band, taught by someone who actually books shows. First tip: don’t ask for money if you’ve never played a show before. Required reading: Show Fliers for Noobs.
For more information and the full 52 University archive please visit the “52 Weeks To Rock” course outline page. All of the stories in this course syllabus are required reading and 75 percent of your final grade will be based upon your comments in this story. Kissing the butt of your professors is also highly encouraged.