The Church of Zappa! Official Thread

[a21schizoidman]

Yes, the Church of Zappa has now officially been founded.

About the Church:
There is one Main God: Frank Zappa (http://tinyurl.com/38pdcb)
and Lower Gods: Carl Palmer (http://tinyurl.com/8qusfd), Keith Emerson (http://tinyurl.com/c73qf5), & Simone Simons (http://tinyurl.com/25nfhl). Roger Patterson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpiT2r86C20)
and Forces of Nature: Robert Fripp (http://tinyurl.com/bkry9w), Terry Bozzio (http://tinyurl.com/apms3c)


The Book of Prog is our Bible
And it is written on The Black Pages

Motto: It's A Way of Life

There are Ten Commandments:
1. We're only in it for the money.
2. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, go to the white zone.
3. THE POWER OF CARL COMPELS YOU! (http://tinyurl.com/5hjo3k)
4. You must take a pebble and cast it to the sea
5. Follow your common sense
6. It's OK if Simone gives you a boner
7. Don't eat the yellow snow
8. No bassism
9. If anything bad ever happens to your eyes as the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook, the only way you can get it fixed up is to go trudging across the tundra mile after mile right down to the parish of St. Alphonzo.
10. You must use the circular rubbing motion.

Rules of the Church:
No prayer in the Church of Zappa may be done in 4/4 time.

The Church of Zappa allows, (and encourages) polygamy.

The Church of Zappa tolerates other religions.

Followers of the Church of Zappa must make pilgrimages to Montana in order to make dental floss.

Followers of the Church of Zappa must (either middle or first or a nickname): Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet, or Diva


To join the church here, just change your avatar to one of the Gods and practice the faith.

Founders:
a21schizoidman
Hungryfreak

Disciples:
Fizzeler

Followers:
theantkid12
citric_bullets
wildabeast21
tridentgum0
JukeBoxHero
classicrockdude
timmay9
Quinarvy
Rocket2Russia
franticfish
seriousbusson
Razorhoof78

[a21schizoidman]

space reserved

[Lolicat]

In B4 Moon Unit Luther starts a reformation...

[Rockbandfan23467]

Why isn't Lake a god?

[a21schizoidman]

Why isn't Lake a god?

cuz he only has an angelic voice


and also, this isn't serious, its all in good fun

[Hungryfreak]

I think Terry Bozzio should be among the gods of the church. Do you agree? Get his Baby Snakes solo up there, if so, haha.

We are also associated with the First Church Of Appliantology.

[a21schizoidman]

I think Terry Bozzio should be among the gods of the church. Do you agree? Get his Baby Snakes solo up there, if so, haha.

We are also associated with the First Church Of Appliantology.

lol, hmmm, Bozzio would be, but he did work with korn...

[Hungryfreak]

That was in an attempt to set them straight. Some forces, though, are just uncorrectable.

[a21schizoidman]

That was in an attempt to set them straight. Some forces, though, are just uncorrectable.

shall we add him to the lists of nature then?

[Hungryfreak]

Definitely. He belongs up there, especially for his association with Zappa.

[a21schizoidman]

added Bozzio to the Forces of Nature, with a Baby Snakes drum solo that includes Frank playing the Toy Car

[Hungryfreak]

Frank on the Toy Car is great. It proves that he can make any instrument work in his music, haha.

[a21schizoidman]

Frank on the Toy Car is great. It proves that he can make any instrument work in his music, haha.

he could fart into the microphone and make a song out of it

[Hungryfreak]

It could even be silent but deadly and he would make it work.

[Rockbandfan23467]

The church needs a villian.

[a21schizoidman]

The church needs a villian.

its called "those who oppose the church" :p

[Hungryfreak]

Nah. No one can oppose Zappa's omnipotent musical ability. I mean, seriously, the man could write parts for any instrument under the context of any genre and make it work brilliantly.

[DarkSide247]

I'll join, but no love for Steve Howe?

[Fizzeler]

What about Alan Parson the master of the concept album :D

[theantkid12]

I join the Church of Zappa.

[WhiffleBallTony]

Guys, I have a really important question to ask.

Why does it hurt when I pee?

[a21schizoidman]

Guys, I have a really important question to ask.

Why does it hurt when I pee?
cuz ur balls feel like a pair of maracas?

[WhiffleBallTony]

cuz ur balls feel like a pair of maracas?

They do feel like a pair of maracas. I think I got it from the toilet seat.

And that was just my 4,000th post. I feel quite awesome now.

[a21schizoidman]

They do feel like a pair of maracas. I think I got it from the toilet seat.

And that was just my 4,000th post. I feel quite awesome now.

thats an epic 4,000th post tony!

[WhiffleBallTony]

thats an epic 4,000th post tony!

Haha. It really is. I didn't even notice it was going to be 4,000 when I posted it.

I think I'm gonna listen to Zappa tonight while I sleep.

[a21schizoidman]

Haha. It really is. I didn't even notice it was going to be 4,000 when I posted it.

I think I'm gonna listen to Zappa tonight while I sleep.

make sure to follow the 10th Commandment while u do lol

[Fizzeler]

Update theantkid12 has joined our church :D
As for an opposer we need a very worthy opposer

[a21schizoidman]

Update theantkid12 has joined our church :D
As for an opposer we need a very worthy opposer

those who oppose the church are the opposers

[Fizzeler]

those who oppose the church are the opposers

Or heretics :eek:

[a21schizoidman]

Or heretics :eek:

PM!

[Fizzeler]

Do we need to add any more people into The Church Of Zappa?

[Hungryfreak]

We're always open to more members! There can never be too much love for Zappa, haha. And there is no one worth of opposing Zappa. No force can defeat him, he's just that awesome.


They do feel like a pair of maracas. I think I got it from the toilet seat.

And that was just my 4,000th post. I feel quite awesome now.

Definitely an epic 4000th! I suspect it might be Gonokakakhackus!

[a21schizoidman]

we could always use more members :D

[citric_bullets]

I'm ready to start worshiping Zappa. Well, I already do that a little, but I'm ready to shove my beliefs in other peoples' faces. Sign me up!

[a21schizoidman]

I'm ready to start worshiping Zappa. Well, I already do that a little, but I'm ready to shove my beliefs in other peoples' faces. Sign me up!

u must change ur avi then to one of the gods!

[Fizzeler]

u must change ur avi then to one of the gods!

We still need someone to use Carl Palmer (Other than the awesome video :D)

[citric_bullets]

We still need someone to use Carl Palmer (Other than the awesome video :D)

I'd go for it, but I just spent like 15 minutes trying to find a cool picture and get it sized right... so I'm not changing. :D

[a21schizoidman]

We still need someone to use Carl Palmer (Other than the awesome video :D)

did u see the other CP vid I put up (click on his name under Gods)

[Fizzeler]

did u see the other CP vid I put up (click on his name under Gods)

That one is good as well :)

[a21schizoidman]

That one is good as well :)

he was incredible with Atomic Rooster, and had more energy than when with ELP or Asia

[timmay9]

I'll join. Shouldn't Geddy Lee be a god (of bass maybe?)?

[AxlVanHagar]

Bah! no mention of the "little Italian virtuoso" or Vinnie Colaiuta, this just may be a false Church. :p

If I ever join though can I be the Indian of the group? ;)

[Hungryfreak]

I was going to mention Vinnie. He really gets too little respect.

And we could always use a Jimmy Carl Black, haha. Oh, I just bought your avatar on vinyl, too, Axl.

[a21schizoidman]

I'll join. Shouldn't Geddy Lee be a god (of bass maybe?)?

note: we read from the Book of Prog, and Geddy isn't even close to being a god

[AxlVanHagar]

. Oh, I just bought your avatar on vinyl, too, Axl.


Noice!

[Fizzeler]

I'll join. Shouldn't Geddy Lee be a god (of bass maybe?)?

Change your avatar to join :D
As to Geddy Lee no I would think Lake, but then again maybe not him either

[a21schizoidman]

Change your avatar to join :D
As to Geddy Lee no I would think Lake, but then again maybe not him either
we need a bassist tho...

but Lake no....

[JukeBoxHero]

we need a bassist tho...

but Lake no....

Ray Shulman or Chris Squire could definitely be your bass god of your religion. Sure, he uses a pick, but he honestly kicks more ass with a pick than many other players out there.(That uses a pick too).

[a21schizoidman]

Ray Shulman or Chris Squire could definitely be your bass god of your religion. Sure, he uses a pick, but he honestly kicks more ass with a pick than many other players out there.(That uses a pick too).

Squire could be a force maybe.... (he's kinda an ass)

[Quinarvy]

Shouldn't Serj Tankian be in as a reincarnation?

Also, I want to join! It can be like the Church of Google.

[Hungryfreak]

I don't think Serj really comes close to Zappa. The use of political statements in music is the only connection I see, really, and it's not even in the same style, haha.

[Quinarvy]

I don't think Serj really comes close to Zappa. The use of political statements in music is the only connection I see, really, and it's not even in the same style, haha.

The beard-stache...look at the beard-stache

[Hungryfreak]

Many people have said that I look like Frank Zappa before knowing that he's my favorite musician, but I still lack his sheer musical genius, haha.

[a21schizoidman]

Many people have said that I look like Frank Zappa before knowing that he's my favorite musician, but I still lack his sheer musical genius, haha.

but, you look like a poor man's Jewish Dweezil!!


can I get you autograph, maaaannnn? lol

[Fizzeler]

Bassist how about Clint Warwick from The Moody Blues or John Deacon form Queen

[a21schizoidman]

i thought of something, its sunday, that means, that tomorrow should be a holy day in the Church of Zappa


we should pray:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOnydQwXQnc&feature=related

[MdrnDayWarrior]

I'm gonna necro-post this because I want to find out a song.

My brother was listening to Zappa the other day, I'm pretty sure the album was live, but there was a song on the album with a cool sax line. It wasn't a long song from what I can remember. Can anyone help me finding what song it was?

[Hungryfreak]

We would need some more details, since there are lots of live albums and lots of cool sax lines among his works.

[MdrnDayWarrior]

Well the problem is that all the info I have I have given. : (

[Hungryfreak]

You can probably ask your brother. If he won't give you the song, then maybe the album or the collection of Zappa albums he has. That would help.

[Fizzeler]

Since the thread has been necroed I must switch back to my old Emerson AVI :D

[johndillinger1932]

im in as long as their is a jewish princess with a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters

[WhiffleBallTony]

Today should not be Easter, but... I don't know. Something involving Zappa. We can go to church and do the funky Alfonzo.

[Hungryfreak]

We definitely need to build the Parish of Saint Alphonzo. If we make his pancake breakfast so light and fluffy white, we'll raise a fortune by tonight!

[WhiffleBallTony]

We definitely need to build the Parish of Saint Alphonzo. If we make his pancake breakfast so light and fluffy white, we'll raise a fortune by tonight!

Haha. That would be awesome. Let's do it.

[a21schizoidman]

updated the Gods after Hungryfreak and I decided a new God should be added

also: http://www.youforum.cc/church_of_zappa/index.php is the new home of the Church

[Gowienczyk]

You made another youforum? Are you serious?

/facepalm

[supernova1324]

You made another youforum? Are you serious?

/facepalm

It is a little bit ridiculous considering the other one is already dead.

Oh, and newgrounds>youforum.

[Gowienczyk]

Oh, and newgrounds>youforum.

But they aren't relatable at all.

[supernova1324]

But they aren't relatable at all.

I don't know why I put that, had a brain fart. I meant zetaboards>youforum.

[Gowienczyk]

I don't know why I put that, had a brain fart. I meant zetaboards>youforum.

Most message board providers have better functionality than youforum, I've noticed.

[supernova1324]

Most message board providers have better functionality than youforum, I've noticed.

Yeah, you can actually make quote pyramids....

[Gowienczyk]

I'm more of a fan of Yuku and Proboards, personally.

[supernova1324]

I'm more of a fan of Yuku and Proboards, personally.

Haven't used those sites before. Most offsites I've seen have been zetaboards.

[Gowienczyk]

Sucks for you.

[a21schizoidman]

You made another youforum? Are you serious?

/facepalm
i got incredibly bored last night when i got home

[a21schizoidman]

our church is almost at it's 7 month anniversary! (and the best meme/fad in our forum)

[willdabeast21]

I'm officially converting.
I have just finished reading "The Frank Zappa Book" after having heard about this weirdo on these forums.
He's seems like a godly being, in his infinite strangeness




Oh, and his music is quite good as well, certainly worship worthy

[tridentgum0]

His music's good, I guess.

@ a21, January 31st was 6 months ago, not 7.

[Hungryfreak]

I'm officially converting.
I have just finished reading "The Frank Zappa Book" after having heard about this weirdo on these forums.
He's seems like a godly being, in his infinite strangeness




Oh, and his music is quite good as well, certainly worship worthy

You have read the Bible, now you can join us :)

[willdabeast21]

You have read the Bible, now you can join us :)

Good read.

[Hungryfreak]

I've gone through it at least 2-3 times, haha. The first time I read it, I didn't dig Zappa all too much. I gave him a fair chance, though, after that book and the rest is history.

[MrFruitLord]

Trent Reznor should be on there too. Either way though, I convert.

[willdabeast21]

I've gone through it at least 2-3 times, haha. The first time I read it, I didn't dig Zappa all too much. I gave him a fair chance, though, after that book and the rest is history.

He had me hooked after his explanation of the "I took a **** on stage" rumors

[tridentgum0]

Trident converts to the Church of Zappa. :)

[a21schizoidman]

we must sacrifice a Virgin (record) to Zappa on this Sunday!

[willdabeast21]

we must sacrifice a Virgin (record) to Zappa on this Sunday!

Good call

[JukeBoxHero]

I think I forgot about joining this church, I shall now.

[Hungryfreak]

Join us!

If you been mod-O-fied,
It's an illusion an yer in between

[a21schizoidman]

Nice to see you Bob, how's it going?
How's your kids?...
Wonderful!...
Nice to see you, yes...
Oh, Bill Bailey?...
Ah we'll get to that to- morrow night...
Caravan with a drum solo?...
right!...
We'll do that!...
Wonderful!...
Nice to see you again!...
Yeah!...la, la, la...
Down at the Pompadour A-Go-Go!!...
Vo-do-de-oo-pee-pee...
Shoobe-doot 'n-dadada, ada-da-dahhh ...
Nya-da-da, nya-da-da...
'nite all!...

[JukeBoxHero]

Joined then...

And now, I shall continue to listen to Joe's Garage.

[classicrockdude]

May I join?

[timmay9]

I could of sworn I joined. Sign me up.

And we need to revive his corpse and have him run for president in 2012.

[Quinarvy]

Quin can join?

[a21schizoidman]

Someone just came down the hallway, tellin' me he dug the song just playing, i told him it was Peaches En Regalia, he was like "so, it's like, hip-hop, right?"

we need to educate more people!





AND THE POWER OF CARL STILL COMPELS YOU! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn9fkAGwJcM)

[Rocket2Russia]

This is a church I can sink my teeth into! Sign me up!

[a21schizoidman]

this thread needs to be revived from time to time, with a grandeur ceremony, like when new awesome posters show

[Lithuanian_Boy]

this thread needs to be revived from time to time, with a grandeur ceremony, like when new awesome posters show

WELCOME BACK!!!!!

How's that for a revival.

[a21schizoidman]

WELCOME BACK

How's that for a revival.

how come every time i listen go to listen to Sonic Youth i see rainbows?

[timmay9]

Please no with the Carl Palmer and the hey-hey. Glavin!

[Lithuanian_Boy]

how come every time i listen go to listen to Sonic Youth i see rainbows?

Tell me the next time you're listening to them and I'll arrange it for you.

[a21schizoidman]

Please no with the Carl Palmer and the hey-hey. Glavin!

needs more flubber

[franticfish]

sign me up yo.

[seriousbusson]

Add me in while you're at it.

[a21schizoidman]

ironically, i'm wearing my Zappa shirt today (the one with his face, kinda like a misfits style)

[Razorhoof78]

Let it be known that I, Razorhoof, pledge myself to the Church Of Zappa! My wife can't figure out why on Earth everytime I buy another disc why I need another version of "Sinister Footwear" or ""Mo And Herb's Vacation", but Mr. Francesco is my hero and to Hell with those who don't understand! I'm going to go watch the Steve Allen "Bicycle" video again... Music Is The Best!

[a21schizoidman]

i am actually trying to spread this church to my friends

[RosaFloydGuy]

Oh yeah, sign me up.