The Best Quote(s) You Have Ever Heard

[HeavyHorse]

Every now and then, a line gets spurted out by a man or woman that changes the way you think of the world. At the same time however, a couple of words can make you bust a gut laughing, or cry the Niagara Falls out of your eyes.

Problem is, it's really hard to think of ones you've heard by yourself (unless you cheat and go to Wikiquote).

Post the best quote(s) you have ever heard here complete with who spoke them (if you don't know, just post the quote alone). Can be from any source you like (Examples: movies, history, music, friends, games, online (forums), etc.).

"I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles." - Pete (Paul Rudd) in Knocked Up.

[kiggidykev]

"That's the second-most blue ****s I've ever seen!"

-random clown, Watchmen movie opening night

[topperharley]

"Nobody likes a blonde in a hamster ball." - Veronica Mars

[BuRn7 CaK3]

i know it's not a quote. but this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yx0iKKi5xM).

[athenahollow]

"I'm here to kickass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum"
- They Live!
And

"I kick ass for the lord"
- Dead Alive

[BuRn7 CaK3]

"I'm here to kickass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum"
- They Live!
And

"I kick ass for the lord"
- Dead Alive
"I Don't have time to play with myself"

Duke Nukem FTW!

[Bub]

"You were almost a Jill sandwich!!!" - Barry Burton, Resident Evil:D

[UrFatMom]

-"Hi i'm plenty"
-"you surely are"

Jame's Bond, diamonds are forever

[HeavyHorse]

"There can only be one!" - Highlander

[Daemius]

The one in my sig. Sandman has a lot of golden quotes.

I also like "There's no fate but what we make for ourselves" from Terminator.

[FlameSama1]

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not."
and
"No one dies a virgin, life ****s us all."

Kurt Cobain

And in before the awesome Frank Zappa quotes.

[bmaninc]

"Sky rockets in flight...Afternoon Delight!" - Anchorman.

[AKALink]

“The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul.”
-J.S Bach

[trench762]

Being proven wrong is associated with failure...To be proven wrong should be celebrated, for it is elevating someone to a new level of understanding, furthering awareness" - Zeitgeist: Addendum

not exactly a quote but,
Elephant trainers of the far east tie a thin rope around the ankle of a baby elephant and throughout their lives reinforce the boundary of the rope. The adult elephant is fully capable of breaking the rope but the elephant has been so conditioned to believe he cannot, that he does not understand his own power to free himself. We are like those elephants, just learning about our self-imposed belief in limitation. Living with our limited perspectives of ourselves, we rarely see past our limitations and, as a consequence, we bind ourselves to our habits. -from the teachings of the flower of life.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know true peace. - Jimi Hendrix

and there are so many zappa quotes that I dunno where to begin, I don't wanna misquote him either hehe. But there is one from an interview about being cynacal that I really liked.

[HMXDungHeaver]

"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads..."


"I kick ass for the lord"
- Dead Alive

"This calls for divine intervention!"

[daftuprising]

"Business in the front, party in the back"
- Joe Dirt
"Where the F*%& we get ice cream?!"
- The Ringer
"I can't even look at you right now. You voice is so amazing, it's like a mix between Fergie and Jesus"
- Step Brothers

Those are my favorite funny ones.

My favorite quote on life is:
"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something." - Henry David Thoreau

[rowtheboat]

You laugh at me because i'm different I laugh at BLAH BLAH BLAH

[topperharley]

"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." -- Shepard Book

[a21schizoidman]

"im gonna set this note (water plant) next to the pot, umm, that the plant is in..." - Three South


Some Patton:
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way.

Every man is scared in his first battle. If he says he's not, he's a liar. Some men are cowards but they fight the same as the brave men or they get the hell slammed out of them watching men fight who are just as scared as they are. The real hero is the man who fights even though he is scared.

There are four hundred neatly marked graves somewhere in Sicily. All because one man went to sleep on the job. But they are German graves, because we caught the bastard asleep before they did.

An Army is a team. It lives, sleeps, eats, and fights as a team. This individual heroic stuff is pure horse ****. The bilious bastards who write that kind of stuff for the Saturday Evening Post don't know any more about real fighting under fire than they know about ****ing!

Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.

My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either.

Fixed fortifications are a monument to the stupidity of man. Anything built by man, can be destroyed by him.

I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.

If a man has done his best, what else is there?

Just drive down that road until you get blown up.

If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.

Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!

My soldiers can eat their waist belts, but my tanks need gas.

You don't win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the other son-of-a-***** die for his




now, ZAPPA:


Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the bible. Who wins?

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

I'll tell you what classical music is — for those of you who don't know. Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago. And it's formula music, the same as top forty music is formula music. In order to have a piece be classical, it has to conform to academic standards that were the current norms of that day and age ... I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health.

Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.

Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHER****ERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?

Why Should I Smile When I'm Sitting Here With You?

The Ultimate Rule ought to be:'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's *****en; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's ****ty' The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of_____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.

There is no hell. There is only France.

[R33DH4M]

"I've flipped more lids than a monkey in a soup kitchen...of the mind!"

"By punching myself in the raisins, I'm punching your mind in the balls."

[HeavyHorse]

"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads..."

Easily one of my favorites. Here's another.


"Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live...at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take...OUR FREEDOM!!" - William Wallace (Mel Gibson) - Braveheart

[tormz]

"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." -- Shepard Book


This is one of my faves as well. A lot of great quotes from that series.

Also a favorite:

But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

[onidragon]

"I'm giving up Jesus for lent"-One of my friends at school.

[athenahollow]

"I'm giving up Jesus for lent"-One of my friends at school.

That's a great freaking quote lol....

"Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." - Mark Twain

[gmarsh]

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"- Kramer from seinfield. *Points to avatar*

[stone-roses-are-the-best]

"As soon as you close your eyes im going to punch u square in the face"
Will Ferrel, Step Brothers

"u curly headed f***"
John .C. Riley, Step Brothers.

[estemshorn]

Peter: What are you injecting me with now?
Doctor: this is what we call the Seth Rogen Gene.
Peter: What's That?
Doctor:It gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny.


- quote from family guy.

[bood-boy]

"dont expect the best you wont be disappointed when you take a bite and watch the worm crawl back inside."

[HeavyHorse]

Peter: What are you injecting me with now?
Doctor: this is what we call the Seth Rogen Gene.
Peter: What's That?
Doctor:It gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny.

- quote from family guy.
Haha ouch, haven't heard that one yet.

[ArmsAreLoud]

"AWK AWK"-Disturbed

...Seriously, when I saw that phrase floating towards me whilst playing Down With the Sickness, I simply couldn't stop laughing.

[mysticneji]

This has been a favorite of mine from Good Burger:

"You'll never be half the man your mama was!"

Here's one that always makes me laugh on Family Guy:

Lois: Brian your still at home, you've been watching T.V all day
Brian: I just finished watching a Behind the Music on Gwen Stefani. . . I don't know what a "Holla Back Girl" is. . . all I know is I want her dead!

[MdrnDayWarrior]

"Don't lose your dinosaur"
- Step Brothers

Watch the movie, love it.

[a21schizoidman]

"I don't understand it. So, don't try to understand it, it will just confuse you. Trust me." - my math professor today

[RockBandRocker]

"All right...it's Saturday night. I have no date, a two liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix tape. Let's rock!" - Fry (Futurama "Anthology Of Interest II")

[hawkofva]

"You talk in my class, I will remove you, I will defeat you, I will HUNT YOU!"
-my Russian Physics teacher last semester.

[Chichi]

"AWK AWK"-Disturbed

...Seriously, when I saw that phrase floating towards me whilst playing Down With the Sickness, I simply couldn't stop laughing.

I lol'd. hard.
I have a friend who loves that song so he sings it everytime he comes around.
It makes him sound like a parrot.

[MdrnDayWarrior]

Peter: What are you injecting me with now?
Doctor: this is what we call the Seth Rogen Gene.
Peter: What's That?
Doctor:It gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny.


- quote from family guy.

That's awesome, but I liked Superbad and 40-Year Old Virgin. But him starring in those movies were the worst parts of both movies. He seems like such a tool now.

[topperharley]

"My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but... it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who only play the banjo... eat apple sauce through a straw... pork farm animals..." -- Topper Harley, Hot Shots!


Doctor:It gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny.

- quote from family guy.

I smell irony. ;)

[macamatic]

Some life-rethinkers:
"Think for yourself. Question authority." - Timothy Leary
"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive." - Van Wilder

[macamatic]

Some life-rethinkers:
"Think for yourself. Question authority." - Timothy Leary
"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive." - Van Wilder

[Wertty]

"Do they test this stuff on animals or is that a lie?" - Will Ferrell, Semi pro.

CONVERSATION QUOTE.
"Y'know I feel kinda bad you guys, I promised my wife I wouldn't drink tonight.'
'Aw, Don't feel bad, Peter.'
'Huh, gee, I never thought of it like that'" - best family guy quote ever.

[HeavyHorse]

"If you book them, they will come" - Wayne's World 2

[mysticneji]

Have to add another one. This is from the movie Role Models

Kid: Hey, nice cow costume ***. Where'd you get it the *** zoo (laugh)
Danny: Oh this isn't a cow costume, it's a minotaur. A creature of myth. And he got this one out of your moms closet.
Wheeler: She let me keep it after I f**ked her.

[DoomSong8]

Some from the media...

"Oh look at my wrist, I have to go."
"What about your laundry?"
"I don't love these!"
-Billy and Penny (Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog)

"When life gives you lemons, just say **** the lemons and bail." - Chuck (Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

"I'm not gonna waste the ultimate comeback on you right now, but don't think I don't have it. Oh yes, it's time will come!" - Xander Harris (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

"I think frosting makes me lie!" - Ted (How I Met Your Mother)

and from some friends of mine...

"I wish I could go outside without being raped."

"You escaped into more danger!"

[RockBandRocker]

Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: [grabs her roughly] This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I want to die.


^ The BEST Buffy/Angel exchange!

[xXjAmEZXx]

'Token your black, of course you can play bass guitar'

Eric Cartman

[Spoonman00]

I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way, so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life. - Hans Gruber

[RockBandRocker]

"And alien tears will fill for him
Pity's long-broken urn,
For his mourners will be outcast men,
And outcasts always mourn."

- Oscar Wilde

[onidragon]

"I never let my schooling get in the way of my learning."
-Mark Twain.

[HeavyHorse]

"I never let my schooling get in the way of my learning."
-Mark Twain.
Beautiful quote. If only that was posted on banner's in my school while I was attending.