Post your own "F My Life".

[OrdealByFire]

I got one that happened Saturday night...

A few fellow XY chromosome counterparts invited me and Fennz over to play basketball. They were 12. We're ~18. One kid was missing an arm. We lost. FML.

True story.

[Jglaubman]

(This actually happened to me when I was in 7th grade)

I took one of those tests that tell you what profession bests suits you. I got vending machine operator. FML

(It turns out I had accidently put down that I only wanted to graduate high school and nothing else.)

[rbandghpingu]

Some nubcake put gum in my hair. And I have LONG HAIR (for a dude). FML

[daftuprising]

A guy in a boys like girls band shirt ragged on me for ragging on him and he wouldn't quit yelling so I couldn't make a logical argument. FML.

[Hanrahan89]

Last summer family members were visiting from Florida and I was playing basketball at a cookout my uncle threw for them and my cousin who is about 6 inches taller and weighs about 70 pounds more than I do falls on me and fractures my fibula. Good news is I finished the game and my side won bad news I got a call the next day I got a job at CVS I couldn't take it though since I was in a cast and couldn't walk.

[Daemius]

I've got nothing better to do than accrue over a thousand posts on a rock band forum. FML :p

[Fennz]

I got one that happened Saturday night...

A few fellow XY chromosome counterparts invited me and Fennz over to play basketball. They were 12. We're ~18. One kid was missing an arm. We lost. FML.

True story.

:(

[Mystlyfe77]

Or you could, you know, post these on FML.

[OrdealByFire]

This is probably a more "deserved" FML that just happened.

Today my dad told me to pick up pine cones. I did, but I was holding them to my chest. My shirt is ruined. FML.

[OrdealByFire]

Or you could, you know, post these on FML.

Or I could, you know, not, since the mods reject everything.

[benson111]

I posted in this thread.

[DeadPhoenix223]

haha, nerd.

[DrumStix]

One time, a bumblebee stung my arm, and the next day, I got stung on the same arm! FML . . .

[daftuprising]

MY grandpa said he'd give me a nickel for every pinecone I picked up. I ran out in his yard and went into the neighbors. FMGL.

[OrdealByFire]

Yes I am a nerd.

BTW Carolina is 4 syllables.

F Your Life.

[Mystlyfe77]

Or I could, you know, not, since the mods reject everything.

I wonder why...

[DeadPhoenix223]

Yes I am a nerd.

BTW Carolina is 4 syllables.

F Your Life.

im from the south, where the skies are blue, and syllables dont matter

[OrdealByFire]

if they don't matter, don't bother attempting to "sound out" (ahem, each syllable) and do it incorrectly.

[DeadPhoenix223]

if they don't matter, don't bother attempting to "sound out" (ahem, each syllable) and do it incorrectly.

gosh, take it easy, i was just doing that because people always say "DUR- HAM", and it's not HAM its hum, and Carolina ill correct Michinagese person

[DeadPhoenix223]

i fixed it for ya sweetie :p

[OrdealByFire]

Michigander, thank-you vurr munch. ^_^

[DeadPhoenix223]

ha, i'm SOUTHERN not COUNTRY!

[AKALink]

I spent $50 on a Xbox 360 controller at Circuit City when they were closing for a future xbox 360 that I recently decided I shouldn't get anymore. I then went to resell it and the battery pack slot thing was missing. I still have it and can't sell it.

[Nuff_Said]

i just finished rolling a smoke and realized i have no lighter. FML.

[ffwarrior47]

i like kittens. FML

EDIT: actually no, i love kittens FYL.

[chumsicles]

Or I could, you know, not, since the mods reject everything.


Sometimes they let some real crappy ones slip through, so you might have a chance

[greyguys]

last week I was feeling a little freaky so I decided to stick my dic* in a plug outlet and the power went out fml


lol jk

[gmarsh]

Im deaf dumb, and blind. FML

but I sure play a mean pinball.

[OrdealByFire]

What does Little Caesars and your mom have in common? They're both hot, ready, and full of sausage!!!

I'm like a snow storm. I give you 8-10 inches at night and give you trouble walking to school in the morning!

Both of those there jokes were created by yours truly. I know I'm boss.

[greyguys]

What does Little Caesars and your mom have in common? They're both hot, ready, and full of sausage!!!

I'm like a snow storm. I give you 8-10 inches at night and give you trouble walking to school in the morning!

Both of those there jokes were created by yours truly. I know I'm boss.

lmfao

[Julio_Strikes_Back]

I'm crippled. FML.

[Jaden-San]

I've lost my job, the power to my apartment is shut off, I just received notice that a cop is looking for me, my roommate appears to be bailing on me to move back in with his parents, and now i'm stuck watching a very sexual movie with a guy who will NOT stop flirting with me.

All of these things are TRUE.

F... My... Life.

[Zidane]

I was flirting with a girl I met on the Rock Band forums only to find out she was 17. Oh crap...

[InnocentBetrayal]

I was flirting with a girl I met on the Rock Band forums only to find out she was 17. Oh crap...

LMAO! when i saw that you posted in here i laughed and i knew you must have been a few years older. haha. :p

but i'm sorry if i seemed older, i'm told i'm a bit mature for my age. but sometimes i act really immature at the same time. i'm very confusing. :eek:

anyways, sorry

[Zidane]

LMAO! when i saw that you posted in here i laughed and i knew you must have been a few years older. haha. :p

but i'm sorry if i seemed older, i'm told i'm a bit mature for my age. but sometimes i act really immature at the same time. i'm very confusing. :eek:

anyways, sorry

Don't even worry about it, this is actually not the first time it has happened to me. I go to a lot of parties where I don't know how, but teenage girls get in.

Anyway, when you turn 18 I'm sure we can continue the flirtin'.

[InnocentBetrayal]

Don't even worry about it, this is actually not the first time it has happened to me. I go to a lot of parties where I don't know how, but teenage girls get in.

Anyway, when you turn 18 I'm sure we can continue the flirtin'.

but i have a boyfriend. lmao. i was never actually flirting, i just am friendly.

[OrdealByFire]

Hey Innocent.Betrayal. How you doing? ;)

[Zidane]

but i have a boyfriend. lmao. i was never actually flirting, i just am friendly.

We can be friendly then. Your bf is a jerk....

[InnocentBetrayal]

Hey Innocent.Betrayal. How you doing? ;)

lmfao. wow. :p


We can be friendly then. Your bf is a jerk....

how is my bf a jerk? :eek:

[OrdealByFire]

He doesn't treat you like a real man should.

[The_Wurm]

but i have a boyfriend. lmao. i was never actually flirting, i just am friendly.

lmao, this is a perfect FML for zidane

[Zidane]

He doesn't treat you like a real man should.

Damn straight.

[InnocentBetrayal]

He doesn't treat you like a real man should.

LMAO! i'm not going to argue with you.. :rolleyes:

lol i mean hes sweet and all, but we argue a lot and he doesnt really understand me or get me at times.


lmao, this is a perfect FML for zidane

i didnt intentinally (sp?) do it lol

[The_Wurm]

LMAO! i'm not going to argue with you.. :rolleyes:

lol i mean hes sweet and all, but we argue a lot and he doesnt really understand me or get me at times.

uh oh


RELATIONSHIP FORUM HOTLINE TIME!!!

[InnocentBetrayal]

Damn straight.

lmao you guys :D


uh oh


RELATIONSHIP FORUM HOTLINE TIME!!!

lmfao!

[OrdealByFire]

Seems like we may have some "true" talking issues. Do you talk a lot about stuff? Nothing is worsefor a young woman than a lad that won't communicate, deary.

Lol. Tis true.

[Zidane]

All I'm saying is we wouldn't be fighting. You're man can't handle you, so maybe you should move on. And in like a year, when you are of the legal age, look for a new, caring, smart, loyal, guy who is also a Rock Band enthusiast. That's all I'm saying.

[InnocentBetrayal]

Seems like we may have some "true" talking issues. Do you talk a lot about stuff? Nothing is worsefor a young woman than a lad that won't communicate, deary.

Lol. Tis true.

i try talking with him but he says "there's nothing really to talk about, nothing is new in my life" blah blah blah. He hardly sees me anymore. He used to want to come over my house every day when we first started going out, now he thinks seeing me 3 times a week is to much. *sigh*


All I'm saying is we wouldn't be fighting. You're man can't handle you, so maybe you should move on. And in like a year, when you are of the legal age, look for a new, caring, smart, loyal, guy who is also a Rock Band enthusiast. That's all I'm saying.


are you trying to say something? :p lmao!

[ArchangelZero]

i try talking with him but he says "there's nothing really to talk about, nothing is new in my life" blah blah blah. He hardly sees me anymore. He used to want to come over my house every day when we first started going out, now he thinks seeing me 3 times a week is to much. *sigh*

are you trying to say something? :p lmao!

Ouch, sound a lot like....nevermind...

[OrdealByFire]

All I'm saying is we wouldn't be fighting. You're man can't handle you, so maybe you should move on. And in like a year, when you are of the legal age, look for a new, caring, smart, loyal, guy who is also a Rock Band enthusiast. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah the man speaks a good word. And who knows, if you play your cards right, you can get two Rock Band studs.

[tridentgum0]

I entered the forums and saw this thread.... **** my life.

[Zidane]

Am I trying to say something? No, maybe-I don't know. You know what, we should just start a Rock Band band. We can be like Sonic Youth. If you know anything about Sonic Youth then this post will make sense.

I'm just saying that your man just doesn't know what he's doing. You could get a better guy for half the price.

[InnocentBetrayal]

Ouch, sound a lot like....nevermind...

hmm? :eek:


Yeah the man speaks a good word. And who knows, if you play your cards right, you can get two Rock Band studs.

haha two? oh my! :eek: i'm such a lucky girl :p

[InnocentBetrayal]

Am I trying to say something? No, maybe-I don't know. You know what, we should just start a Rock Band band. We can be like Sonic Youth. If you know anything about Sonic Youth then this post will make sense.

I'm just saying that your man just doesn't know what he's doing. You could get a better guy for half the price.

O.o i dont know Sonic Youth. PLEASE DONT HURT ME! *hides in corner* :eek:

i guess..

[OrdealByFire]

I'm going to bed.

Basically what Zidane and the other gentleman are saying is:

He's cheating and/or bored. Typical man. Pfft. Boiz.

Anyway bedtime for me.

[The_Wurm]

Yeah the man speaks a good word. And who knows, if you play your cards right, you can get two Rock Band studs.

"FML", said Innocent Betrayal.

[Zidane]

Woah! Woah! Woah! Two guys? Listen honey, we've known each other for a long time, I don't think you need any Ordeals in your life. It'll just complicate things, you know? Whatever you want is yours just ask honey.

[ArchangelZero]

O.o i dont know Sonic Youth. PLEASE DONT HURT ME! *hides in corner* :eek:

i guess..

Wow, I didn't think anybody would take that kind of reaction to Sonic Youth...i'm not suprised....

I think this you're done with this guy and he's done with you. Time to go on...

[InnocentBetrayal]

Woah! Woah! Woah! Two guys? Listen honey, we've known each other for a long time, I don't think you need any Ordeals in your life. It'll just complicate things, you know? Whatever you want is yours just ask honey.

a long time eh? not even a day sir :p


"FML", said Innocent Betrayal.

LMAO :D you're funny :p


I'm going to bed.

Basically what Zidane and the other gentleman are saying is:

He's cheating and/or bored. Typical man. Pfft. Boiz.

Anyway bedtime for me.

night night :)

ehh i doubt hes cheating on me. but it wouldnt suprise me, its happened to me twice before.. heh

[Zidane]

O.o i dont know Sonic Youth. PLEASE DONT HURT ME! *hides in corner* :eek:

i guess..

Oh darling, Sonic Youth is the band that just so happens to have a couple in there. And you know what, it made the band and the relationship stronger. That's all I'm saying, if you still don't get it I will go into deeper detail.

[Alright_Computer]

Am I trying to say something? No, maybe-I don't know. You know what, we should just start a Rock Band band. We can be like Sonic Youth. If you know anything about Sonic Youth then this post will make sense.

That's pretty hawt. For anyone who doesn't get it: Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth are married. They've been married for 25 years. And they're in a band together.

I just spent 5 hours reading FML. FML

[Jaden-San]

Hrm.... looks like we've gotten off-course...

[InnocentBetrayal]

Wow, I didn't think anybody would take that kind of reaction to Sonic Youth...i'm not suprised....

I think this you're done with this guy and he's done with you. Time to go on...

ehh i see what you mean, but i cant just get up and leave him. We've been together for some time. not much, but enough to feel bad.

[Zidane]

O.o i dont know Sonic Youth. PLEASE DONT HURT ME! *hides in corner* :eek:

i guess..


ehh i see what you mean, but i cant just get up and leave him. We've been together for some time. not much, but enough to feel bad.

Hey, if you want, I can beat him up for you. How does that sound honey?

[InnocentBetrayal]

Hey, if you want, I can beat him up for you. How does that sound honey?

lmfao um that wont solve anything


Oh darling, Sonic Youth is the band that just so happens to have a couple in there. And you know what, it made the band and the relationship stronger. That's all I'm saying, if you still don't get it I will go into deeper detail.

ahhh i see.


Hrm.... looks like we've gotten off-course...

ack! sorry. I feel really bad. I'll leave O.o

[Zidane]

Don't go!

You know, if this was a Judd Apatow movie this would be the 2nd act of the movie where you would leave. I would be played by Jonah Hill and you would probably be played by, I don't know... Meagan Fox? You decide, I'm bad with actresses.

[ArchangelZero]

Don't go!

You know, if this was a Judd Apatow movie this would be the 2nd act of the movie where you would leave. I would be played by Jonah Hill and you would probably be played by, I don't know... Meagan Fox? You decide, I'm bad with actresses.

Really man...you got to be kidding me...

[InnocentBetrayal]

Don't go!

You know, if this was a Judd Apatow movie this would be the 2nd act of the movie where you would leave. I would be played by Jonah Hill and you would probably be played by, I don't know... Meagan Fox? You decide, I'm bad with actresses.

O.o i dont know. lol.

but we are derailing this thread and i feel bad.

[The_Wurm]

Really man...you got to be kidding me...

he is -_-

[Zidane]

Really man...you got to be kidding me...

I'm having fun with this thread man, I don't know what your problem is.

[ArchangelZero]

I'm having fun with this thread man, I don't know what your problem is.

What, I can't have a very dry form of sarcasm?

[InnocentBetrayal]

no fighting!:eek: please O.o

[The_Wurm]

*throws down an L note*



LETS GO ZIDANE!

[ArchangelZero]

no fighting!:eek: please O.o

Where not actually going to go there...


*throws down an L note*



LETS GO ZIDANE!

Wait...what?

[Zidane]

*throws down an L note*



LETS GO ZIDANE!

Wurm you've been trying to hold me back since the day you got here, I'm not going to let you embarrass me in front of my lady. *pulls out a hunting knife* Let's go buddy!

[ArchangelZero]

Wurm you've been trying to hold me back since the day you got here, I'm not going to let you embarrass me in front of my lady. *pulls out a hunting knife* Let's go buddy!

Hey...hey...take it easy...no need for any blood here...take it outside....

[InnocentBetrayal]

Wurm you've been trying to hold me back since the day you got here, I'm not going to let you embarrass me in front of my lady. *pulls out a hunting knife* Let's go buddy!

wait your lady? O.o

um.. i'm heading off. well actually being kicked off the computer. talk to you guys tomorrow. lol you're all hilarious :D

and try not to kill eachother while i'm gone? :rolleyes:

[The_Wurm]

and try not to kill eachother while i'm gone? :rolleyes:

*lowers gun*

too late

[Zidane]

Hey...hey...take it easy...no need for any blood here...take it outside....


Oh, I'll take it outside alright, take outside to the death!!!



wait your lady? O.o

um.. i'm heading off. well actually being kicked off the computer. talk to you guys tomorrow. lol you're all hilarious :D

and try not to kill eachother while i'm gone? :rolleyes:

Oh... Well then... *drops the knife* Wurm, let's go get a beer and talk this over.

[ArchangelZero]

wait your lady? O.o

um.. i'm heading off. well actually being kicked off the computer. talk to you guys tomorrow. lol you're all hilarious :D

and try not to kill eachother while i'm gone? :rolleyes:

I think that's not possible...

[InnocentBetrayal]

bye guys. play nicely :p

or attempt to

[Zidane]

bye guys. play nicely :p

or attempt to

We will darling. :cool:

[ArchangelZero]

bye guys. play nicely :p

or attempt to

Key word: attempt

[Grayp3Dr1nk]

I went to the movies with 2 guy friends (we are from 20-22 years old) to watch the Fast and the Furious. After the movie we felt robbed since it was terrible so we decided to watch 17 Again. After watching 17 Again we began to walk outside and then my friend noticed his wallet was missing. With no other option I walked over to the guy selling tickets and asked him what we should do. Instead of answering he just said "You didn't seem like Zac Efron fans" FML

[ffwarrior47]

this is actually a true one...

My GF tells my friends that i "beat" her [which i find hilarious] but today she took it too far when she threw herself on the ground in front of a teacher and said i pushed her. i spent the rest of the day in the dean's office. FML.

[RockBandRocker]

My roommates got drunk and trashed our place. They destroyed one of my posters. FML.

[FastSolo.]

Ean Evans died the other day.
FML.

[DrumStix]

I was flirting with a girl I met on the Rock Band forums only to find out she was 17. Oh crap...




Z0mg seriously?

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

[DrumStix]

this is actually a true one...

My GF tells my friends that i "beat" her [which i find hilarious] but today she took it too far when she threw herself on the ground in front of a teacher and said i pushed her. i spent the rest of the day in the dean's office. FML.


Wow, that was a little stupid.

Why would she say that in the first place?

[Zidane]

Z0mg seriously?

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

We had an entire conversation on this thread and the Hopeless Romantics thread.

[DrumStix]

George Carlin died. :(


FML . . .

[DrumStix]

We had an entire conversation on this thread and the Hopeless Romantics thread.


Didn't see it.

FML . . . :rolleyes:

[Zidane]

Didn't see it.

FML . . . :rolleyes:

To be honest, it's one of my favorite conversations I've ever had on a forum.

[DrumStix]

To be honest, it's one of my favorite conversations I've ever had on a forum.


Hahaha, I'd be freaking out.

[Zidane]

It was fun, weird, but fun.

[HMXThrasher]

this is actually a true one...

My GF tells my friends that i "beat" her [which i find hilarious] but today she took it too far when she threw herself on the ground in front of a teacher and said i pushed her. i spent the rest of the day in the dean's office. FML.

dude, you need a new girlfriend.

[ThrobingCane]

We had an entire conversation on this thread and the Hopeless Romantics thread.

Kinda Ironic that you were flirting with a chick in the hopeless romantic thread. only to find out shes 17

[Zidane]

Kinda Ironic that you were flirting with a chick in the hopeless romantic thread. only to find out shes 17

It was romantic, but very hopeless. You got that right, buddy.

[ThrobingCane]

It was romantic, but very hopeless. You got that right, buddy.

yeah, you have to be carefull sometimes.

[Zidane]

yeah, you have to be carefull sometimes.

Hey, after it happened we stayed friends and it was funny. A Rock Band forums classic.

[ThrobingCane]

Hey, after it happened we stayed friends and it was funny. A Rock Band forums classic.

at least you'll have some good stories to tell about the RB general forums, just hope Chris hanson isnt a lurcker on this site. haha JK

[Aragha]

I've read EVERY FML on FML. FML.

[InnocentBetrayal]

To be honest, it's one of my favorite conversations I've ever had on a forum.

wow really? :eek:

[ThrobingCane]

wow really? :eek:

What a twist!:D

[InnocentBetrayal]

what a twist!:d

Lmao! :D

[ThrobingCane]

Lmao! :D

Robot Chicken FTW

Im assuming you got that ref...if not this makes no sense to you

[72_tomahawk_72]

This thread has gotten creepy.

[Wolfbeckett]

at least you'll have some good stories to tell about the RB general forums, just hope Chris hanson isnt a lurcker on this site. haha JK

"Hi there... I'm Chris Hanson. Maybe you'd like to sit down? We've actually been tracking you as you thought you were talking to an underage girl online and were coming to meet her today. She's actually in her 20's, so you didn't do anything illegal, but why don't you go ahead and step outside so we can arrest you anyway? More entrapment coming up after the commercial break."

[ThrobingCane]

Hi there... I'm Chris Hanson.

I knew it. haha

[Mega-Tallica]

I got pissed on by a drunk homeless dude while camping. True story. FML.

[Banky71]

I got pissed on by a drunk homeless dude while camping. True story. FML.

Where the heck do you camp?

[Wolfbeckett]

I got pissed on by a drunk homeless dude while camping. True story. FML.

K we've been over this time and again dude, the bus stop is NOT a camping ground, you go to the forest or the mountains for that.

[ffwarrior47]

dude, you need a new girlfriend.

lol. i think it's funny. she just took it too far that time.

[AlliterationAmy]

Today, I overslept and missed my final exam. I had a passing grade, but the final was ultimately the deciding factor in the class. I now have to retake the class next semester. FML.

[ThrobingCane]

but the final was ultimately the deciding factor in the class.

I hate classes like this,

You could skip every class all semester but come in for the final and pass but if you come to every class but miss the final you fail, Stupid

[DeadPhoenix223]

i committed suicide on werewolf, and then realized how stupid of a decision that was before getting banned from posting there... FML

and

i was so bored today during school i tried to make time go faster by staring at a clock, and ended up getting silent lunch detention until schools out for not reading... FML

[FloodOne]

I'm stuck wide awake and I have to wake up in six hours..... f*ck my life

[AlliterationAmy]

I have to get up for a final at 9:00 am. Am I worried? No.

[greyguys]

I was showing my friend this porn site and his grandma walks down the steps so we try to close the webpage, but the screen froze and all you could hear was uhh fu*k me over and over. ture story fml

[lolitsrae]

i have a 4 page paper due tomorrow for a final and i only have 3 pages done and nothing more to say. :/

plus i haven't studied for the test part.

[instantdeath999]

I'm incredibly tired yet can't go to sleep.

Eh, there are worse problems I could have.

[lolitsrae]

I'm incredibly tired yet can't go to sleep.

Eh, there are worse problems I could have.

i guess it's kinda like your body is tired but your mind is awake?

or vice versa.

[moose39]

i have a 4 page paper due tomorrow for a final and i only have 3 pages done and nothing more to say. :/

plus i haven't studied for the test part.

I haven't done a single thing for my huge assignment, I only got my thesis that I copied from my friend.

How old are you again?

[Mega-Tallica]

Where the heck do you camp?

We were acting dumb(drinking and such) near a park so after a night of partying, we all crashed in the woods and I got a rude awakening when a drunk homeless guy took a piss on me while I was sleeping. My friend had it on video.

[greyguys]

Here is another fuc* my life moment
I was swimming for gym and this really fat chick jumps in the pool. The water in the pool was really moving. After she jumps in her top falls off and her fat is moving with the water.

true story fml

[Lizard_King]

back junior year of high school...

"today i decided to shave off hair growing in between my eye brows. it was 7 am. my eyes closed for one second during a yawn, and my hand twitched, shaving off half my eyebrow. FML

[n4sc4r]

I have said a grand total of 67 words in the last 7 school days, amounting to just over 1 word a class period, and nobody has noticed.

I've almost stopped posting here, and no one has noticed.

My best friend figured out who I like, and is being a jerk about it lately and showing off because he got a gf... That's 2 years below us.

I have nasty burn scars on my hands and shoulder, and big teeth

FML....

(Sophomore in high school btw)

[OrdealByFire]

want to try to go a full day without speaking

[n4sc4r]

2 of the 7 I did go w/ out speaking.