If Your Really, Really Bored, Would You Mind Doing Me a Favor?

[jgosh]

Could you please read over my paragraph on imagery within Longfellow's The Cross of Snow?

Here's the poem:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "The Cross of Snow"

In the long, sleepless watches of the night,
A gentle face--the face of one long dead--
Looks at me from the wall, where round its head
The night-lamp casts a halo of pale light.
Here in this room she died, and soul more white
Never through martyrdom of fire was led
To its repose; nor can in books be read
The legend of a life more benedight.
There is a mountain in the distant West
That, sun-defying, in its deep ravines
Displays a cross of snow upon its side.
Such is the cross I wear upon my breast
These eighteen years, through all the changing scenes
And seasons, changeless since the day she died.

Here's my Paragraph:
Imagery Within The Cross of Snow

Within The Cross of Snow, Longfellow uses imagery in order to create a better level of understanding, in respect to his undying love for his wife. The statement, “ a gentle face - the face of one long dead - looks at me from the wall, where round its head The night lamp casts a halo of pale light.”, paints an image of reverence and unbreakable love. His description of his companion’s face as being gentle, is both informative and emotional; she is so graceful and beautiful that even in her deathly state she still reflects the qualities she held in life. In addition the image of a “halo of pale light” is a comparison between his wife and an angelic being, furthering the idea of her purity and innocence. As a Romantic Longfellow then uses nature to express his devotion, “ Displays a cross of snow upon its side. Such is the cross I wear upon my breast.”. The cross of snow untouched, irremovable even by the sun is a powerful representation of the “cross” worn upon his neck which is symbolic of his heart. As the cross of snow is impossible to reach, so is his heart which shall forever be attributed to his wife, and cannot be warmed by any other woman. The final two lines of the volta end with an image of his eternal devotion, “These eighteen years, through all the changing scenes and seasons, changeless since the day she died. ”. The image of a flipbook is brought to mind, Longfellow centered, with setting flickering endlessly from fall to winter to summer, from night to day from indoors to out. It is the portrayal of Longfellow standing unmoved that is the greatest image of the sonnet. As he stands still so does his passion for his wife; endless and infinite.

Any input would be welcomed, thanks in advance. :)

[jgosh]

Decided to give your eyes a break.

[monkeyfish]

Does it absolutely have to be in a single paragraph? Breaking the information down into multiple paragraphs would make it easier to read. I'm a studier of fiction and grammar, and I've been hypnotized into thinking parentheses are either sparsely used within a paragraph, or signal the start of a new one.

I'm personally not a fan of this complex of a sentence structure within essays of this type, but hey, it's poetry, knock yourself out. And it's pretty good, too. You clearly get your point across, dissect the poem line by line, and offer more than a few words as specification.

However, you have a few spots that, "are parts of the poem but end with a period, the second parenthesis, and another, unnecessary period.". <<< Like so. I'm going to assume some of the spaces between the first parenthesis and the start of the quote within are a Word copy/paste hiccup, cause there's some of that, as well.

[Oscar-Rio]

Within The Cross of Snow, Longfellow uses imagery in order to create a better level of understanding (no comma) in respect to his undying love for his wife. The statement, “a gentle face - the face of one long dead - looks at me from the wall, where round its head The night lamp casts a halo of pale light,” paints an image of reverence and unbreakable love. The description of his companion’s face as being gentle (no comma) is both informative and emotional; she is so graceful and beautiful that even in her deathly state she still reflects the qualities she held in life. In addition, the image of a “halo of pale light” wonderfully juxtaposes his wife with an angelic being. Thus, furthering the idea of her purity and innocence. The poem also express his devotion (to what?) through nature. (quote removed)The image of the cross of snow untouched and irremovable even by the sun is a powerful representation of a Christian or Catholic cross worn upon his neck (words removed) symbolic of his heart. As the cross of snow is impossible to reach, so is his heart. It shall forever be attributed to his wife with an inability to be warmed by any other woman. In the final two lines of the volta an image of his eternal devotion is proclaimed clearly for all to know.(quote removed) The image of an artists animated flipbook is brought to mind; Longfellow centered(comma removed) in a setting endlessly flickering from fall to winter to summer, (word removed) night to day, (word removed) indoors to out. It is this portrayal of Longfellow standing unmoved that gives the sonnet a breath of reality and true love. As he stands still so does the undying passion for his wife. True love will remain for it truly is endless and infinite.

Any input would be welcomed, thanks in advance. :)

All I did was your proofreading. Is this the first paragraph? Or is it in the middle of an essay?

Ok i hope that helps. Just to note, you had quite a few unnecessary commas in there. Also, you should keep in mind of your audience. Your teacher/prof knows the poem, and so would anyone else reading your piece, so it just isn't necessary to embed lines from the poem directly into your writing. Just reference them, don't quote them word for word.

Also, sometimes shorter, stronger, sentences can have far greater impact than a long one where the reader loses focus.

I hope this all still relevant. Hopefully you didn't already and in your assignment.