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View Full Version : Stupidest Jokes Ever



R0ck3r
10-05-2007, 10:50 AM
Out of boredom, what is the stupidest joke you've ever heard? Heres mine:

Whats up bra? Bra? Whats up tampon.

Edit: If that isn't "appropriate" for this forum, just tell me and I'll remove it.

NuttyNutt
10-05-2007, 11:28 AM
well... um... here's mine.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and sits in front of a door? Mat.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and sits on a wall? Art.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and swims in the ocean? Bob.

DShiz1029
10-05-2007, 11:28 AM
One day there were two bananas chillin on the bank of a river. All of a sudden a turd floats by and says to the bananas "Hey guys, come on in! The water is fine!" One banana turns to the other and says "Do you believe that sh*t?"

NuttyNutt
10-05-2007, 11:30 AM
2 penguins sitting in a bathtub.

First penguin: Will you pass me the soap?

Second penguin: What do I look like, a typewriter?


You're not supposed to get it... that's the joke.

Akaymay
10-05-2007, 11:35 AM
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks. :D

NuttyNutt
10-05-2007, 11:37 AM
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks. :D

Two guys walk into a bar, first one says "Ouch."

DShiz1029
10-05-2007, 11:42 AM
I got this from Newgrounds.com...so bare with me

*horse sitting at the bar, drinking*
Bartender: Hey horse, why the long face?
Horse: My wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer...

gh2masterwellalmost
10-05-2007, 12:02 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road...

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

There's a stupid joke. Pretend you laughed. Or pretend you didn't laugh, stupidity allowing.

Akaymay
10-05-2007, 12:03 PM
I got this from Newgrounds.com...so bare with me

*horse sitting at the bar, drinking*
Bartender: Hey horse, why the long face?
Horse: My wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer...

Reminds me of this:

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comiccomedicrelief.png

gh2masterwellalmost
10-05-2007, 12:06 PM
Shouldn't it be COMIC relief? I dunno, maybe its just a British thing, but we don't have anything called Comedic Relief, but we have Comic Relief.

Mr_GtD
10-05-2007, 01:08 PM
Guy walks into a bar. He gets drunk off his ass, and returns home to beat his wife.

MotleyPriest111
10-05-2007, 01:22 PM
What did the duck bring to the movies?



Soup.

GrenadeJumper
10-05-2007, 01:27 PM
A guy walks he into a bar.

He said ouch!

DShiz1029
10-05-2007, 01:44 PM
A guy walks into a bar...the end.

sushi111
10-05-2007, 02:06 PM
Best Thread Ever

DShiz1029
10-05-2007, 02:08 PM
A guy walks into a bar...picks up some hooker...takes her home and finds out shes a dude...the end.

senomar
10-05-2007, 02:43 PM
A guy walks into a bar...picks up some hooker...takes her home and finds out shes a dude...the end.
*thunderous applause*

DShiz1029
10-05-2007, 03:03 PM
*thunderous applause*

*takes a bow*

CaptainHowdy101
10-05-2007, 03:47 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road?

for fowl purposes!

sa_nick
10-05-2007, 05:48 PM
Out of boredom, what is the stupidest joke you've ever heard?

Hmm, maybe this...


We've received official word from the higher ups at RedOctane commenting on the GH development switch. "Neversoft will indeed be working on the Guitar Hero franchise"

wow, i cant post short msg's anymore... wassup with that?

arniejolt
10-05-2007, 07:00 PM
"I object to all this sex on the television! I mean, I keep falling off!"


-----
To Harvest or not to Harvest, that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The pipes and bullets of outrageous Splicers,
Or to take arms against a horde of Big Daddies,
And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep...

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c342/ARNie00/tonarinobigdaddysig.jpg

my deviant gallery
http://arnie00.deviantart.com

SmokaCola
10-05-2007, 10:56 PM
What's red and purple and screams at the top of it's lungs? A baby with a plastic bag over it's head being thrown into a wood chipper.

^ Made that up after seeing all the dead baby jokes, all I got from saying it was awkward stares and a few friends of mine laughed.

As for more stupid jokes...

Knock knock, "Who's there?". "You" "You who?".

Knock Knock, "Who's there?". "Boo" "Boo who?" :Stop crying silly, it's just a joke:

and my all time favorite

"Two fellers on a bridge... One said it was cold, the other feller said it was deep... I think one of dem fellers were from Arkansas." - Slingblade

Super_Sonic
10-05-2007, 11:14 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road...

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

There's a stupid joke. Pretend you laughed. Or pretend you didn't laugh, stupidity allowing.

Dam you took my joke! :P

Knock knock, "Who's there?". "FBI" "FBI who?" "LOOK OUT HE'S GOT A GUN!! *shoots*"

IbanezBassist_v2
10-06-2007, 12:36 AM
I deem this thread appropriately titled.

DShiz1029
10-06-2007, 01:13 AM
SmokaCola, Slingblade is the best movie ever with french fried taters with mustard mmmhmmm.


Mommy Mommy! What is a delinquent child?
Shut up and pass me the crow bar!

GrenadeJumper
10-06-2007, 03:40 AM
Just look at any pop sickle joke. lol

devo193
10-06-2007, 04:20 AM
http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicshady1.png

killdurst
10-06-2007, 07:40 PM
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

Akaymay
10-07-2007, 02:40 AM
http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicmyexisawhore.png
http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comicterriblepun2.png
Seriously, the best comics EVER.

EDIT: Also very very funny:

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/scuba.png

Saltines
10-07-2007, 08:38 AM
http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Rob/bomb.png (http://www.explosm.net/comics/1032/)
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net (http://www.explosm.net/)

battle_axe_of_doom
10-07-2007, 11:31 AM
those comics suck. jay pinkerton's spider-man comics demolish all

R0ck3r
10-07-2007, 12:03 PM
What's red and purple and screams at the top of it's lungs? A baby with a plastic bag over it's head being thrown into a wood chipper.

^ Made that up after seeing all the dead baby jokes, all I got from saying it was awkward stares and a few friends of mine laughed.

As for more stupid jokes...

Knock knock, "Who's there?". "You" "You who?".

Knock Knock, "Who's there?". "Boo" "Boo who?" :Stop crying silly, it's just a joke:

and my all time favorite

"Two fellers on a bridge... One said it was cold, the other feller said it was deep... I think one of dem fellers were from Arkansas." - Slingblade

Knock knock, "Who's there?" "Me, I kill you."

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