peachpunker63
11-12-2007, 05:15 AM
There’s barely a week to go before you can get your hands on a copy of Rock Band, get your group together and start your rise to virtual superstardom. We like to think it will change your life just a little, or at least keep you off the streets for a long while. We understand there’s a lot of anticipation building over the release, so as a public service we offer a list of ten things to do while you’re waiting for Rock Band:
1: Polish your air-guitar technique. Remember how you jumped around your bedroom pretending to be in Aerosmith with the CD blasting, so it never mattered if you were in time or not? Now it will.
2: Canvas your friends for the best people to be in your Rock Band. See, it’s just like forming a real band, but with one difference: You don’t have to let someone you don’t like play bass just because s/he owns the practice space.
3: Watch a film of your favorite band performing, even if that means sitting through “The Song Remains the Same” for the 100th time. Look for some great onstage moves to lift from your favorite performers. But no, you won’t have any occasion to ask if anybody remembers laughter.
4: Get out of the house. It may be your last chance for a long while.
5: Brush up on your stock of drummer jokes. (What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?)
6: Get the new Radiohead album without paying for it. Hey, it was their idea, not ours.
7: Recite the entire lyrics of Nine Inch Nails’ “Machine” to the next telemarketer who calls. This won’t help you at all with Rock Band, but it’s fun.
8: Search the web for that video clip of Van Halen turning “Jump” into a total trainwreck. Not only is it truly priceless, but it will make you feel better about your own playing.
9: Familiarize yourself with the crazy drum fills in “Tom Sawyer” by Rush. This will help you later on—unless you know them already, in which case you’re a terminal music geek with too much time on your hands (in other words, part of our target audience).
10: Put the lime in the coconut, and call us in the morning.
1: Polish your air-guitar technique. Remember how you jumped around your bedroom pretending to be in Aerosmith with the CD blasting, so it never mattered if you were in time or not? Now it will.
2: Canvas your friends for the best people to be in your Rock Band. See, it’s just like forming a real band, but with one difference: You don’t have to let someone you don’t like play bass just because s/he owns the practice space.
3: Watch a film of your favorite band performing, even if that means sitting through “The Song Remains the Same” for the 100th time. Look for some great onstage moves to lift from your favorite performers. But no, you won’t have any occasion to ask if anybody remembers laughter.
4: Get out of the house. It may be your last chance for a long while.
5: Brush up on your stock of drummer jokes. (What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?)
6: Get the new Radiohead album without paying for it. Hey, it was their idea, not ours.
7: Recite the entire lyrics of Nine Inch Nails’ “Machine” to the next telemarketer who calls. This won’t help you at all with Rock Band, but it’s fun.
8: Search the web for that video clip of Van Halen turning “Jump” into a total trainwreck. Not only is it truly priceless, but it will make you feel better about your own playing.
9: Familiarize yourself with the crazy drum fills in “Tom Sawyer” by Rush. This will help you later on—unless you know them already, in which case you’re a terminal music geek with too much time on your hands (in other words, part of our target audience).
10: Put the lime in the coconut, and call us in the morning.
