The Official "Sushi needs relationship help thread"

[sushi111]

EDIT:

This thread has now been changed to Imaginary relationship advice.

[MdubMedia]

We need to know what's wrong to help. but to start, please Paypal me $60 for the first hour to jezekracing@yahoo.com

Thanks.

lol

[sushi111]

I have imaginary money thats just as useful...

Ok but seriously anybody want to hear my GGGGirl problems.

[Eman311]

Don't come to an internet forum for girl problems.

[MdubMedia]

^^^ he's right.

[sushi111]

Don't come to an internet forum for girl problems.

I want to see peoples responses.

Even if you guys give me horrible advice, at least some of it will give me a chuckle.

[sushi111]

Okay Ill test you guys out:

My girlfriends an alien from Persion Sector XIV. She keeps on going on about this Gorgublax from Sector VI and Im kinda getting jealaous. How do I tell her how I feel without getting evoporated into sludge?

[senomar]

Kill her and dump her body in a river. Or fly a 300,000,000 year journey to Sector VI and show that Gorgublax ******* who's boss.

[sushi111]

Thats a good idea.

Morhax is a nice guy though even if Cyntaxx (my girlfriend) kinda digs him. If anything Im close friends with the poor Gorgublax. Is there a way I can tell him to keep his slimy tentacles off Cyntaxx?

[DShiz1029]

Simply tell him straight up, "I am not comfortable with whatever closeness you have to my girl." But dont be a dickhole about it, just be calm and chill.

Also, let her know that you arent too comfortable with her closeness to him. A relationship with more communication between two lovers is a much healthier relationship.

Again, dont be confronational about anything. The more you are chill and like calm about stuff, the hotter it will be to your girl. *they dig confidence*

[Eman311]

Okay Ill test you guys out:

My girlfriends an alien from Persion Sector XIV. She keeps on going on about this Gorgublax from Sector VI and Im kinda getting jealaous. How do I tell her how I feel without getting evoporated into sludge?

It's ok to be jealous and tell her that, but don't be over-protective or obsessive. Cuz that's just creepy.

[defmonkey]

Become an Hero?

[sushi111]

That was a joke guys.

My real problem is that Im in the friend zone.

[gh2masterwellalmost]

My real problem is that Im in the friend zone.

Sit back, listen to Reckoner (Track 7 - In Rainbows) and plan your revolution.

I'm sure with your Che Guevara-esque picture on your myspace/msn dp/w.e. she'll like you. Hopefully. Maybe.

Just don't forget to tell her she will be spared in the uprising. And of course tell her all the details cos I bet she loves your neo-communist tales of repression despite the fact you've barely experienced the world.

:P J/K... or am I...

[travmeatwad]

That was a joke guys.

My real problem is that Im in the friend zone.

You too? <fkjf>

[WingsOfSteel]

That was a joke guys.

My real problem is that Im in the friend zone.

Obviously you should do a barrel roll. Duh. :rolleyes:

[DShiz1029]

Take things slow, if she nabs another dude, forget her, it wasnt meant to be. Key yourself in on body language. If the body language feels right to you, shes interested, but if something doesnt seem right, she probably just wants to remain in the friendship zone.

Again, chicks like chill/confident dudes (or other chicks if their lezzies). If you both dig each other things will work out someway.

[Coldplayer]

Thats a good idea.

Morhax is a nice guy though even if Cyntaxx (my girlfriend) kinda digs him. If anything Im close friends with the poor Gorgublax. Is there a way I can tell him to keep his slimy tentacles off Cyntaxx?

Be careful.

I had a GF once who left me for my best friend.
Now I don't see both of them anymore.

[idiotec]

That was a joke guys.

My real problem is that Im in the friend zone.
Were you being a "nice guy?" That never works!!!

Next time you see her. Put on some Coltrane and have a bottle of wine waiting. Then rub her nipple until it gets hard. Then flick it really hard just to show her who's boss.

Sounds crazy but it works! :D

[sushi111]

I dont know what to say really guys... except you all need mental therapy.

Also, its like we totally should be together but were not. We both dig eachother alot. Maybe I should wait it out.

[Bakkster]

My real problem is that Im in the friend zone.

Ladder Theory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theory)

[FallenAce]

The key is not telling her how you feel. Allude to how you can tell she likes you, but smile and don't return the feeling. Chicks love being tortured on the feelings stuff. Just always seem like you're joking. About everything.

[Eastwood]

Take things slow, if she nabs another dude, forget her, it wasnt meant to be. Key yourself in on body language. If the body language feels right to you, shes interested, but if something doesnt seem right, she probably just wants to remain in the friendship zone.

Again, chicks like chill/confident dudes (or other chicks if their lezzies). If you both dig each other things will work out someway.

QFT

or you could do what lions do. Eat all of his young and establish dominance byt making him a scapegoat, eventually leaving him for the hyenas.

plus you need to tell her how you feel. Girls are fine with you being in the friend zone. Let them know you aren't fine with it.