It only took 3 mailmen, but they finally sent someone over who didn't look the slightest bit Austri-Hungarian and I accepted my mail. Good timing too I was just about to break out my old morse code...

Wittikss is having tummy troubles with getting back in the playpen something about an email account not linking with the site or some witchcraft. Whenever I receive letters in the mailbox I will...

Poor Doggikins just can't handle himself sometimes. I'll send him some delicious double chocolate chip cookies. I would have used more, but Jibsicookie only left me 2 chips in the bag.

But that nice Nigerian Prince already has my credit card, he's coming back with the lottery winnings any day now.

Oh Goodie!!! So how do I change the title page, I let Doggykins near it the other day and now there's naughty ladies on the screen and a monkey that keeps telling me to "wack" it for a prize?

Now why did I feel compelled to come here? While I'm here can anyone tell me how to program my AOL?

Now you apologize to him right now while I bake my resurrection cookies. Oh Fiddlesticks where is my darn Necronomicon?

I wonder if Hugmonix will like my story about the perfect cookie recipe to serve at Rock Band parties. My sewing circle loves my recipe for snickerdoodles. Fanny keeps trying to steal my recipes...

This is all a horrible misunderstanding! "Why aren't you dead yet?" is how he asks for dinner, which is better than his old way of asking for dinner. I really need to stop allowing the Dane Cook on...

Only the good die young.

Do you talk to your mother with that mouth!?

I lost my 5th husband to Pinball. She was the neighborhood trampoline and all the guys got a jump.

I get promised Tainted Love and Love Hurts, but not Gloria Jones or The Everly Brothers. You young people and your shenanigans!!! Soft Cell and Nazareth, is that what the kids are listening to...

Only to be topped by the most delicious one of them all, Lindwurberry.

Oh he's around deary and delicious. Would you like to try some Rexburry pie? I mean raspberry.

What!? Cipher is getting hugs from somebody else!? This really rattles my dust pans!

I know somebody who won't be getting birthday cupcakes this year.

I love you more than all the denture cream in the world!

My grandkids got me a nook for Christmas. You know where they put your computer in a corner so you can't reach it. Little hooligans they are sometimes. Especially that Wttikiss!

The only fraud I committed was saying I loved you

(-----------------This much-------------)

When really it was...

(---------------------------------------------This...