No, seriously. They did.
Their beautifully named "I Sold My Hole For Rock 'N Roll" tour happened to put them right in my very own town of Northampton, MA last Friday.
I had tried to invite the Hellion (and any other HMX employees that would bite) to come to my Rock Band party the previous week, but Vagiant's tour made sure that couldn't happen. So thanks to some badgering from my friend Chewy, she decided to grace me with her presence the following week... and she brought her whole damn band with her! And a whole other rad band, Razors in the Night, who was touring with them as well. And all was right with the world.
So I'm sitting in my apartment, minding my own business, when the Hellion busts down my door and hands me a brand new guitar controller, having gotten wind that my previous one had busticated. Naturally, I make her sign it, and she complies. Then she added a little extra ("Toady" is actually my pet rabbit Cody, but she preferred her version to his actual name. It's growing on me).
So, before I know what hits me, two whole rock bands are chilling in my living room, and they appear to be drinking beer with me. Vagiant's hot drummer even made a boom-boom in my bathroom!
I figured that as long as they're there, I may as well have Vagiant sign my Rock Band poster. So each band member climbs up on my bed and leaves me a lil' love on my wall. I was told to brag proudly that I can honestly say that I have had all members of Vagiant on my bed. Like I needed any instruction.
By this point we're all hungry like the wolf. We go eat noodles and dish and gossip and burp and fart.
Now the bands have to make an appearance at a local record store, fire up their instruments and melt a couple pre-pubescent faces that won't make it to their 21+ show that night. I help them carry some equipment in and feel pretty good about it. Said faces are melted clean off.
So the hours tick by and showtime approacheth. Me and my pals roll up. Much whiskey is drank. The excitement builds. It feels great to be in a local joint that's actually housing a talented band for once and not the usual local turd salads.
Razors in the Night take the stage. They rock and rock hard, as expected. And Vagiant is kind enough to loan them their drums.
The golden hour arrives. Vagiant takes the stage. I take my spot inches from the stage, essentially staring up the Hellion's nostrils. My dear ol' friend Chewy is right behind me. The band starts up and the thunder is brought. Helen dedicates "Seven" to me and Chewy and I cream my pants. I jump around and bang my head like a drunken baboon (my neck is STILL sore). Chewy does the same. He also doesn't take any pictures, so you'll just have to trust me that Vagiant is, in fact, a band, and they did, in fact, play an f'ing great show.
How to celebrate having one's face personally melted off? MORE WHISKEY!! Yeah, that happens. Apparently, me and Chewy did a Michael McDonald medley. I don't remember it happening, but Helen captured video proof, so there you have it.
As the night winds down, Helen inevitably works her charm on all of my friends. And me. And lifelong bonds of rockitude are born.
And that, my dear friends, is how you have the Hellion and VAGIANT personally rock your face off.