I don't want to get banned either, but made a much more expensive way work (and I'm the friend mentioned in the first post), so am posting here especially as a lot of the credit goes to Aelius27 anyway, cause he helped me troubleshoot big time. (Given that the cost of the solution is ~$400 total, I doubt many will do it.)
For those who aren't as engineering inclined (although it will still take a little) and have a few extra dollars laying around, I took a suggestion from ZenNye at ScoreHero (ZenZen here I think), and bought the MidiSolutions.com R8 Midi Relay. I have a set of Roland TD-6SW drums.
What I did:
1) Midi Out Cable to Midi In on the R8
2) Program the R8 (using the awesome free software from their site) to however you'd like your drums to work. I've appended how I programmed them at the bottom. When you program you want to send a 40ms pulse on NOTE ON.
3) Buy 4 RCA to exposed (and tinned) wire cables. I used the 6 foot ones I found at Radio Shack. You'll also need 4 RCA to 1/4" mono converters (so you can plug this end into the R8). *(In reality anything that gets you from the 1/4" jack on the R8 relays to bare wires will work just fine - pre-tinned just makes it that much easier and you're not wasting one end of the cable when you cut it off).
4) Buy 1 1/4" mono to 1/8" mono cable. This is for the bass pedal.
5) From here, I'm not going to detail it as Aelius27 will likely do a much better job

, but now you have to take apart your drums and get down to the motherboard. The only wires that will matter are the bass pedal and the one that goes to USB on the XBOX360. You are free to cut the rest (at your own risk of course).
6) Then solder the wires onto where the buttons go on the motherboard. This is difficult. If you don't know how to solder, find someone who does, and use FLUX. If you still want your controller to work like Aelius27 did, then use his connections. Otherwise you can see under the buttons what looks like two 'E's facing each other. The small circles above and below are where you make the connection. The circle that has a small trace coming out of it is where you solder the center wire of your cable too. The other circle appears to just join with the large grounding plane. This is the ground and where the outer cable from your RCA cable should be attached. Use a multimeter if you have any doubts or this doesn't make sense.
7) Now plug the cables into the R8 based on how you programmed it in step 2.
8) Once this is done, take the cable from #4 above and plug it into the bass pedal plug in that is still attached to the motherboard.
9) Turn everything on and it should work.
10) I'm able to do some of the fastest parts of songs with no issues and no delay. The relays in the R8 are super fast (2ms) so I didn't need to adjust my calibration for this to work.
MIDI NOTE / DRUM / COLOR ASSIGNED
22: Hi-Hat Rim (Closed) YELLOW
26: Hi-Hat Rim (Open) YELLOW
42: Hi-Hat (Closed) YELLOW
44: Hi-Hat Pedal Unused
46: Hi-Hat (Open) YELLOW
38: Snare RED
40: Snare Rim RED
48: Tom 1 YELLOW
50: Tom 1 Rim YELLOW
45: Tom 2 BLUE
41: Tom 3 GREEN (for fast runs down the toms?)
36: Kick ORANGE
49: Crash 1 GREEN
55: Crash 1 Rim GREEN
51: Ride BLUE
53: Ride Rim BLUE
Again KUDOs to Aelius27 for making me want to do this in the first place and his superior skills in helping me make my solution work correctly.
I am waiting on a larger mem card for my camera and then I'll post a video that shows me playing, etc.