So P. Diddy (or whatever he's going by now) is being sued for $1 trillion

[_weeheehoo_]

From: http://www.thebvx.com/2011/01/27/dai...mes-him-for-9/

Diddy has been accused of a lot of things. But what could possibly justify the $900 billion lawsuit that a woman slapped him with? Well, how about knocking down the World Trade Center Towers?




Diddy is no stranger to controversy. Everyone knows that signing with Diddy is a one-way ticket to "Raping U Records." One would expect several of Diddy's old artists to come together and try to get the money they feel that they are owed. But one woman, who has never been signed to Bad Boy, feels that Diddy owes her a cool $900 billion.

Yes, you read that right, $900 billion.

What would possess someone to sue Diddy for that kind of money, you ask? Better question, what would justify anyone receiving $900 billion. How about knocking down the World Trade Center Towers?

Yeah, that'll do it.

Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks is seeking a restraining order against Diddy and accused him of some very heinous crimes. According to court documents, Turks blames the coalition of Diddy, Kim Porter and Rodney King (WTF?) for 9/11 and putting her child in a wheelchair.

"[Diddy] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the WTC and then they all came and knocked my children down. Set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. He put my baby in a wheelchair."

Yeah, you read that right. It gets worse.

"He date-raped me 24 years ago and knocked me down; him and Kim Porter and Wallace Wright, then Sean Combs and Kim and Wallace Wright came back 18 years later and raped and sexually abused my children and knocked my children down and crushed me and my children daily."

It's painfully obvious that there's something wrong with this woman. The document is filled with punctuation and grammatical errors to go along with some mind-blowing accusations. She claims that Diddy has a chip that is worth "100 zillions of dollars" and that she is owed $900 billion in child support over a child that Diddy allegedly fathered 23 years ago.

But alas, she is suing for $900 billion in back child support and $100 billion for "loss of income."

If this isn't worthy of an SMH, we don't know what is.

[soup567]

I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! YOU ALL SAID I WAS CRAZY! BUT I WAS RIGHT! WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!?!

[Jglaubman]

I tried to read that article 5 times and still have no idea what the hell is going on.

[sillystou]

I lol'd hard.

[Doc_SoCal]

Whiskey

Tango

Foxtrot




I bet she would settle out of court for a tin foil hat and an unlimited Starbucks card....



Wowzers....

[Hogan2000]

P daddy don't have 1 tillion dollars.

[kangaroo62]

Damn, he really ****ed up this time!

[HeyRiles]

He was so anti-9/11, though

Oh well, guess you never really know a guy!

[Pankrazzo]

Called it.

[NoMoreVillains]

Wow. With that much money, you could buy about 15 million cheeseburgers.