Witticus's Storybook of Awesome

[rkbdgurl]

Thanks Witt.
What a truly awesome story, and a lovely surprise to come home to this evening.

[Witticus]

I feel like a story, it might be a one off or a continual work, we'll see how it goes. I generally make these things up as I go along.

Tonight's Show: V.I.P.

The poll numbers were looking good for President Luldiggs. The defeat of an ancient demon under his presidency was bringing his numbers up from that of the drug, prostitute, speeding, and loitering scandal. Life was truly looking good and there hadn't been any assassination attempts in at least a week, but he realized one crucial problem. His vice president that he never told was actually the vice president was dead. He needed to find a new way to pander to voters so it was time to go vice president hunting.

[Witticus]

Lulldiggs pulled out his short list and realized it was so short it probably didn't exist outside of his imagination. This means he had to actually pull out a pen and paper and to think and write. He'd only done one of these in his life and he remembered how much he hated writing. Luldiggs decided to look into his cellphone contacts and decided that one of these people could possibly be the next VP.

[Witticus]

First up on his contact list was D-Dawg. He called in his aides to remind him who D-Dawg was Daginfor whom he only remembered meeting once with something about Daginfor saving his life or something, but all he remembered was that jerk made him late to the football game so forget that guy. He decided that this was tiring and went to go get ice cream. At the ice cream store he ordered the most colorful one he could find and remembered a girl with rainbow hair he once saw. He must find this girl, because hot chicks get votes!

[jibjqrkl]

stooorrryyyy

[Witticus]

President Luldiggs remembered seeing hot chicks at the mall in Dave Matthew's Band City, fueled up his plane and flew there. He walked into a mall with blaring saxophones playing in the background. He walked up to the first hot chick he saw drinking a weird green drink.

"Hey baby, you must know me." President Luldiggs asked her.

"Wow, I've seen you in my dreams before!" the girl said to him.

"Yeah, I'm sure you have." President Lulgiggs replied.

"Wow, my hands were in my dreams too, what do you think about stars, do you ever think we'll be able to harvest them for energy someday?" She asked

"Like solar power?" President Luldiggs asked.

"No, that's the sun, I'm talking about star power!" The girl said.

"I like your ideas!" President Luldiggs explained!

[dragoninforcer]

You should refer to me as D-Dawg form now on.

[jibjqrkl]

You should refer to me as D-Dawg form now on.

the D stands for dead guy :3

[Witticus]

"Bad news, your VP choice failed the drug test." an aide told President Luldiggs. Luldiggs stayed quiet reflecting sadly on his newest paternity suit.

"Please note that, do you want to be my VP is a great pickup line." President Luldiggs said. He scrolled through his contacts again hoping to strike gold and remembered his good friend that Mardinbec fellow. The aide then reminded him that Mardinbec disappeared months ago. "You are a negative little worm," President Luldiggs said as he returned to his video game.

[Witticus]

LeGod sat on his porch as he watched a massive helicopter land in his yard. President Luldiggs walked out of the helicopter after zipping his pant and walked over to shake LeGod's hand.

"So you're the mysterious LeGod everyone is always talking about, the man of so many words, yet you never explain a thing about yourself, the man who nobody hates, yet nobody considers you a friend. The voters of me need you, what do you say to becoming my vice president?" Luldiggs asked.

"Word"