Against Me! frontman to become frontwoman

[Cipher_Peon]

I don't have a problem with the concept, but I do get really really paranoid that I'm accidentally offending them when I talk to them.

Then I feel bad, because I shouldn't focus on it and yet I do because I don't want to hurt their feelings

[FairwoodStudios]

I don't have a problem with the concept, but I do get really really paranoid that I'm accidentally offending them when I talk to them.

Then I feel bad, because I shouldn't focus on it and yet I do because I don't want to hurt their feelings

I'm gonna address this, since I honestly figured it would've come up back at PAX East.

I'm trans. And while I don't speak for all of us- Cipher, you're doing it right. So many of us have been through so much transphobia and general bull**** that we can tell when someone's earnestly trying to not be offensive, even if what they're saying may end up being taken as such. That's not to say you shouldn't worry about what you're saying, rather that the fact that you're worrying is being noticed and considered. I genuinely appreciate (and am very patient with) people who are clearly trying to do the right thing.

SheSaidSheSaid- *hi-five!*

Witticus- Relationships are a very difficult topic for us, for all sorts of reasons. I'm sure her wife has known for a while and they've worked out their concerns as a couple. I can't really relate to your concerns about your children or your wife, but I'll just say I sincerely hope your kids don't wind up trans. I wouldn't wish this upon anybody.

[Cipher_Peon]

Thanks Fairwood. I'm glad that you set my mind at ease

[SheSaidSheSaid]

I meant no disrespect to Tom as in I wasn't sure what to identify someone who is going through the surgery and borders between the two at this point.

Congrats to her on being comfortable with the transition. And good luck with the inevitable transphobia. I'll freely admit that I haven't been as comfortable with the concept as I'd like, but the more I learn about how much of the process is wrapped up in biology the easier it's been for me to adjust.

All right, fair play, to both of you. That mindset is...tolerant. And that's very good

I don't have a problem with the concept, but I do get really really paranoid that I'm accidentally offending them when I talk to them.

Then I feel bad, because I shouldn't focus on it and yet I do because I don't want to hurt their feelings

Here's what you should do: ask. Just like if you're introduced to someone named Charles and you ask "Is it okay if I call you Charlie?" Maybe Charles HATES being called Charlie, and rather than have you assume and get it wrong, he'd prefer you ask so he knows you know what he would like to be called. Works the same way with the pronouns.

Don't be paranoid. Just take steps to get it right

I'm gonna address this, since I honestly figured it would've come up back at PAX East.

I'm trans.

Wow...am I parsing that correctly - is this the first time you've told anyone here? Congrats if so

SheSaidSheSaid- *hi-five!*

Back at you! And now I'm gonna practice what I preach - what pronouns do you prefer?

Witticus- Relationships are a very difficult topic for us, for all sorts of reasons. I'm sure her wife has known for a while and they've worked out their concerns as a couple.

Indeed. It's not like she's just finding out about like we all are.

[FairwoodStudios]

Wow...am I parsing that correctly - is this the first time you've told anyone here? Congrats if so

Back at you! And now I'm gonna practice what I preach - what pronouns do you prefer?

...It never comes up. :P And I don't like making a big deal of myself. And female is preferred, since we're online (I'm more complicated in person, because I don't like making a big deal of myself.)

[Cipher_Peon]

Well, congrats on finally coming out Rob. I'm proud of you

[SheSaidSheSaid]

You should want people to see you as you see yourself, and address you accordingly. That's worth making big deal about But, duly noted.

[GandWuser]

While I never actually listened to Against Me! (Except for "Stop!", but I haven't listened to it in years since I got it and found the vulgarity in in. Yeah, I was sensitive back then.), but hey, I wish her the best of luck. I can honestly relate to her. (I think you can figure out where this is going)

Also, after reading the comments on the Yahoo! article for the story, I have come to the definite conclusion that the majority of yahoo! commenters are transphobic. And I don't like that. Seriously, about 95% of the comments were of the "What a weirdo" type.

[SheSaidSheSaid]

Yahoo's commenters skew toward the Rick Santorum wing of the Republican party. It's pretty repugnant, and it's best not to read them. And that is the end of discussion on that.

I wish her the best of luck. I can honestly relate to her. (I think you can figure out where this is going)

Best of luck to you as well.

This is what people who say "eww, what a sicko" in the comments section of an article or "AAAHH!!! Kill it! Kill it!!" (and I'm not exactly making that up) don't get - they/we are everywhere. I try to be aware that I have it (more than) a little easier than you folks, since "girl on girl is hawt" (I actually had someone once tell me to my face that guys being gay is wrong but girls being lesbian is ok because it's sexy. I wanted to hit him), but it's all solidarity under the rainbow, so to speak.

And Cipher, you as an ally are welcome under the rainbow too (and so's anyone else who wants in! )

Getting back to the topic, I'll be curious to see what happens to the band, considering Gabel is their lead singer. Will they hire a new singer, retire their old songs, or re-factor them somehow? Trans people usually try to modulate their voices in such a way to match the gender under which they present. It's not always necessary, if a genetically male person has a high voice or vice versa, but Gabel's singing voice sounds plenty male, and even professional voice actors have trouble singing in a voice other than their own. It'll be fascinating to see the direction the band takes.

Or maybe they won't make any change at all. Some trans people unapologetically speak with their natural voices their whole lives. I know a trans woman who has a deeper voice than any man I have ever personally met. It must suck for her to get called "sir" on the phone when she'd rather hear "ma'am," though.

[MagicMurderBag7]

Best of luck to you as well.

This is what people who say "eww, what a sicko" in the comments section of an article or "AAAHH!!! Kill it! Kill it!!" (and I'm not exactly making that up) don't get - they/we are everywhere. I try to be aware that I have it (more than) a little easier than you folks, since "girl on girl is hawt" (I actually had someone once tell me to my face that guys being gay is wrong but girls being lesbian is ok because it's sexy. I wanted to hit him), but it's all solidarity under the rainbow, so to speak.

And Cipher, you as an ally are welcome under the rainbow too (and so's anyone else who wants in! ).

Yeah **** like that always bothers me. I have yet to hear one good reason why being gay (or transgendered) is wrong. Yet there are plenty who think it is.