Bands I'd love to see as DLC for Rock Band:
Bal Sagoth 
Macramé owl. where did you go?
The lack of you makes me feel so low.
Your beady eyes and knotted coat
Makes my heart just want to float!
When I saw you again, I felt aglow
Memories came back, they began to flow.
The warmth I feel when I see you there
Makes me and others sit up and stare!
Your gallant stance makes us want to dance
With joy and wonderment, we skip and prance!
Macramé owl, you make my world complete
You are so completely and utterly sweet!
my love is like a candle, if you forget me, i will burn your damn house down.
Crochet! No, it’s not a country next to Czechoslovakia. Well, it could be but that doesn’t concern us right now. What I’m referring to is the wonderful art of darning together fabric to produce everything from ugly sweaters to toilet paper cozies. Crochet proves yarn isn’t just for kittens and kinky sex acts., instead it offers us an outlet of artistic expression rivaled only by Sock Monkeys.
What’s the difference between crochet and knitting you ask? One uses razor sharp, foot long needles and the other uses razor sharp, foot long hooks. Knot only (get it!?!) do hooks allow fancier work but provide an excellent means to catching halibut while ice fishing.
Crochet originated in France, where it was originally called “Crotch It!” In 1526 the King of France commissioned a new form of loin cloth be created. An impoverished seamstress by the name of Jean Marie only had a pair of rusty hooks for hands, as times were tough in France. Using said hooks she would fashion a dandy, multicolored piece of wool that would become fashionable covering French genitals and pave the way for the abundant uses of crochet we have today.
For today’s project we will need the following:
1. A pair of rusty hooks. (Rusty Hooks also serves well as an alias)
2. A ball of yarn.
3. 36 cotton swabs, some used, some not.
4. A road atlas detailing lower New Mexico. (preferably Rand Mcnally)
5. 2 Chicken Chalupas from Taco Bell.
6. A statement with the credit history of comedian Jim J. Bullock.
7. 4 of those tiny screws that hold the battery cover on the back of a Harmonix Fender guitar controller. (If you drop one, good luck finding it in the carpet.)
Take the yarn and hooks. Throw them in the garbage and go shopping for clothes at the mall. Enjoy!
"Fortunately the forums ping my cell phone when there is an opportunity to discuss Witts junk."-DocSocaelicus
Scarfs are convenient for serial killers who left their murder weapons at home. (Convenient for them, not so much for you.)