Lawdog's national endeavor to expand the public's knowledge of the arts and crafts

[Lawdog1521]

Welcome to LNEEPKAC, or Lawdog's national endeavor to expand the public's knowledge of the arts and crafts. Today we'll be delving into the wonderful world of Macramé!

Have you ever seen a beautiful painting and wondered what it would look like made out of giant strands of yarn? Do you think your bathroom would look better with woodland animals made of textiles on it's walls? If so, Macramé is for you!

One of the oldest known forms of art, Macramé has it's origins from Finnish snow farmers. With an abundance of yarn and little to no animals in their barren tundra, farmers began knitting their dreams into kitchy pieces of art. The modern term Macramé comes from the French. Broken down it become Ma Crame, a well known Paris woman of ill-repute who wore garish sweaters. Said garish sweaters were paraded through town after her death, eventually being hung decoratively on tavern walls.

For today's project we'll be making these Macramé owls. For this project you will need the following:

1. A bunch of yarn.

2. 4 boxes of 3 inch popsicle sticks

3. 2 bottles of 40 oz. Mad Dog malt liquor.

4. A 3 legged terrier, preferably named Tripod.

5. A VHS copy of Mac and Me.

6. A Mondale/Ferraro bumper sticker.

7. A pinch of paprika.

8. A firm handshake from Family Ties star Tina Yothers.

Directions:

Knit some stuff, make it look vaguely like an animal. Enjoy!

[dragoninforcer]

This is ****ing brilliant.

[bigmf]

I was with you all the way and excited about this project, then that damned Yothers gives me a limp lifeless handshake and ****ed it up.

[Lawdog1521]

I was with you all the way and excited about this project, then that damned Yothers gives me a limp lifeless handshake and ****ed it up.

That's what makes it so much harder a craft than say... macaroni paintings.

[dragoninforcer]

I followed the directions, but when I knitted all the stuff, I must've messed up somewhere because this was the outcome.

I'm not very good at Macramé.

[Lawdog1521]

I followed the directions, but when I knitted all the stuff, I must've messed up somewhere because this was the outcome.

I'm not very good at Macramé.

With that very amateur attempt, unfortunately I don't think you have a future in art. You have to remember, when making art, one's ultimate goal is to be able to sell your product at a county fair or perhaps even a gas station.

[jibjqrkl]

i just blew up my house by doing this ;_;

[dragoninforcer]

Second attempt.

[Lawdog1521]

i just blew up my house by doing this ;_;

That's why I said a "Pinch of paprika". That stuff should be treated with respect.

[bigmf]

Damn you, Yothers!