Well, I finally came to terms with my root problem, and deep down, I knew it was the cause but I tried to make up other nonexistent problems to hide it. Big surprise coming from how the problem itself was hidden: This was me, whether I like it or not.
I knew the guilt was real but I was mislabeling it on purpose. I know Cipher mentioned it, and I was really bothered when he suggested it, but I guess that's the first sign of it being the truth. It does feel pretty awful to come to terms with it as part of me, but not life ending worthy, since I know I don't have to be that way forever. I'm not going to blame this on my "confusing" age or natural chemical reactions, because I was the one that tried to justify it all in a horrible way.
I'm sorry, Jessie.