Jibby's Advice for your problems!

[jibjqrkl]

Hey everybody.
I got a PM today from someone who didn't want to post in here.
I've already tried giving him/her some advice. but maybe someone else has some other way to help him so I'll post it here without his/her name.

This has really been tearing me apart for the past few days lately. 3 days ago, my mom woke me up by calling me crying on the phone. She told me her and her boyfriend (Who she was going to marry, until now) got into a huge fight, and that she didn't want to live there anymore. She didn't want to marry him. She said she was totally miserable. She said she wanted to live somewhere else, but she can't. My aunt won't let her move in with her (They aren't on good terms because my mom did perscription drugs, and she's 3 years sober. She's going to therapy every week, but my aunt still thinks she needs help.) so she's stuck with her boyfriend until October, unless she spends her life homeless.

And this is where it gets worse.

Today, I got a call from my mom. It turns out last night, my mom's boyfriend almost killed her. He beat her, strangled her, and now she has a black eye. And this isn't the first time this happened. 4 years ago, he beat her before, but promised not to do it again. She forgave him. I forgave him. We were both wrong.

So now, she's screwed, she's living with someone who is abusive, both verbally and physically, she has nowhere to go, and Idk what to do. I gave her a number to a crisis center, but for some reason, they couldn't help her. I really want the best for my mom, and I don't want her living homeless, or worse, murdered by her boyfriend.

This is the hardest I've ever cried, and I'm usually not the one who cries easily. And idk what to do.

[Hogan2000]

Hey everybody.
I got a PM today from someone who didn't want to post in here.
I've already tried giving him/her some advice. but maybe someone else has some other way to help him so I'll post it here without his/her name.

she needs to get away from him dude and get a court restraining order against him ASAP... There's no sense in that kinda stuff man...... Does she have no where else to go? Living homeless is better than putting up with that **** man... She needs to get far away from him asap. Put his ass in jail because that's where guys who beat on girls need to be.. That's stupid and there's no reason for it.

[DAMdude]

There are a number of places for her to go. Sad to say someone in that situation who goes through stuff like that and says they have no where to go, only want your pity and attention. They usually thrive on that. Often times they had some sort of serious trauma in their early life that made their self conscious think they only deserve abuse, need it be physical, mental, sexual, verbal, and visual. What her mother needs to do is seek professional therapy. It's a stigma that therapy is for weak people, but I've been going for years upon years now. And don't pay some therapist a bunch of money to listen to your problems, the best ones help you with those problems. I've seen eight therapist before I found my regular doctor.

But first and foremost, get her away from this person. send him to jail if you can, but above all get her out of there. There are a number of women abuse centers that can take her in. None of them should turn her away. She may have to step in for her mother and play the mother role in order to get this done, but a child should NEVER play this role to their parent for long. Their parent could get dependent on this act. It's easy to do so, it happened to me, and if there has ever been some sort of abuse of narcotics in the past then it most likely already happened.

Sorry Jib, but this sounds a little out of your league. Have this person PM me if they feel I might be able to help.

[jibjqrkl]

I'm sure he/she is reading this.

thanks for the help
As for the therapy, i can already confirm that the mother is going to a therapist. But i'm not sure on how that's going for her

[BachiG]

I don't have any life problem significant enough to bring up in here, and I'm certainly not qualified to offer the type of counseling some of the posts in here seem to require, but I will offer this advice to anyone that posts in here really needing help - and that is that you get what you pay for. Typically an internet forum is not the best place to get advice, no matter how well intentioned the responders are.

Also:

Okay, i'm gonna make 1 thing clear here. this is the last of the "jokes" i'm simply gonna let go.
Anything that will get posted like this will be reported as trolling from now on.

nothing against any of you personally, but i want to keep this place as serious as possible.

Unless I'm misinformed, I don't believe that posting "jokes" in here would qualify as trolling (at least not as what I understand the term to mean). LRMT is afterall "(a forum)...full of nonsense! Not directly related to Rock Band, but still a very social place to hang out."

So, not to rain on the parade in here (and not trying to undermine your thread), but you should probably just ignore anything you find doesn't fit in the mold of your well meaning thread (a real moderator can feel free to correct me if I'm wrong..it wouldn't be the first time).

[jibjqrkl]

Typically an internet forum is not the best place to get advice, no matter how well intentioned the responders are.

I get what you're saying here. and i'm definitely not saying someone HAS to take any advice put in here. but (for me at least) just telling people about it can already help a lot. And getting support as well.
Sometimes you even meet someone who knows a lot about your problem or has been through it him/herselves. and those people can share what they think as well.
Hell, some of these things in here might just help someone reading them who's gonna say "Oh, it seems i don't have it bad at all"

Unless I'm misinformed, I don't believe that posting "jokes" in here would qualify as trolling (at least not as what I understand the term to mean). LRMT is afterall "(a forum)...full of nonsense! Not directly related to Rock Band, but still a very social place to hang out."

even though the rules are a bit stretched maybe to apply to this. Here are the forum rules which could be applicable to this:

Trolling & Harassment

Trolling encompasses a broad and sometimes nebulous type of behavior. Trolling will be classified here as any behavior (post, link, use of forum mechanics) that is/has:

Malicious in intent.

Prevents, derails, or undermines the discussion of music, of Rock Band, and/or other topics that take place on the Rock Band forums

Types of trolling include:

Posting misleading/false information

[jibjqrkl]

added a few things to the bottom of the first post.
i'll post m here as well.

A few rules to make this as smooth as possible:
1. Although i'm 99% sure most of us actually want to help you, there of course always is a chance someone comes in here with the sole purpose of making someone feel miserable. I want to ask you to just ignore and report those people.

2. If you don't agree with someone's advice, don't start an argument in here please. just say what you would do instead. If you want to have an argument with that person please do it in PM or another part of the forums so this won't get filled up with it. (the exception being when someone gives advice that could seriously be bad for someone's health. Example: someone can't get to sleep and someone says he should take twice the max. dose of sleeping pills.)

3. If you have any problem with what is being posted in here, or the way things are going. please tell me in a PM. please keep this place as much argument free as possible

[Hogan2000]

sorry sarah I will erase my last post because I was argueing

[Hogan2000]

well mines not really a problem but let's see what you think of this..

Have you ever had one of those days when everything slows down and you just have time to think. You think about your childhood, your education, the people you know and your family. Then you start to think what could've done different that would've made my life better. I think about this alot when I get time away from work.

I also think of my age. 26 years old and no kids.. Why? Everyone I know from school had kids when they were 17 to 20. Here I am married with no kids ha ha. I get on the rock band forums and act like a wrestler. That's something 16 year olds do not 26.

The thing that gets me the most is I wish I could've done something better with my life. I love electronics and I really wish I had the talent to get on at a famous gaming company. I keep having these thoughts of I wish. I'm never satisfied with what I have, I've always have to keep pushing. My wife hates it but when I have my mind on something I usually wont quit until I do it . That's why I love that pearl jam song I Wish. That's exactly how I feel, I keep wishing instead of being satisfied. Nothing of importance. I just figure I would share that with the rock band community. When I play the Hogan role I feel important in these forums. I feel like I'm the star of the forums. When I'm Charlie i'm these forums I just feel like I'm just an ordinary person in the forums. No importance. Things like that just keep me thinking. Maybe I'm mental ha ha.

Thanks for reading
Charlie/Hogan

[www1221]

To be completely honest 26 is still too early to have kids let alone 17. Whether you a Hogan or Charlie you are still a cool dude and ai love having you here.