What Are You Doing RIGHT NOW? Part ELEVEN: Through the Wormhole...

[nascargo19]

dont have to give your real e-mail >_>

I didn't think of that. I'll answer these questions a little more towards what would fit me.

[Witticus]

Somehow looking that up, brought me to this. Is your man gay? Quiz

Guys, I'm taking this quiz with my wife for the lulz and here are my responses?

How often do you have sex with your man?
More than once a day
X At least once a day
A few times a week
Once a week
A few times a month
Every few months
Once a year

Now that you mention it, brb.

Has your man ever dressed up in women's clothes?
I'm laughing so hard I can't even answer that
X I've caught him in my closet several times
My man has a fetish for dressing up in women's clothes
Only for costume parties
My man wouldn't be caught dead in women's clothes, regardless of the occasion

This isn't fair, we share the same closet!!! Also she has better scarves.

If you pointed out a nice-looking guy to your man, he would...
X Nonchalantly agree with you
Express sheer adulation for the hottie
Ignore you
Say he doesn't judge what men look like
Stare far too long at said hunk

I'm trying to figure out if some of these answers are joke questions. Seriously star far too long? Is the next question how often he bumps it with men?

How many gay friends does your man have?
None, he's not that open-minded
X A couple
Most of his friends are gay
We hang out with a lot of gay men, but they're mainly my friends

Do lesbians count, I hang out with a few of those.

Which of the following is your man most likely to listen to?
ABBA
Barbara Streisand
X The Smiths
Erasure
Jay Z
Neil Diamond
Linkin Park
Godsmack
Celine Dion
The Bee Gees

I don't get this question, was it made by a bored housewife with no idea of classic rock, but had that CD she bought for her kids so put Linkin Park and Godsmack on the list?

Which movie would your man most enjoy?
X Die Harder
The Birdcage
My Best Friend's Wedding
Brokeback Mountain
Evita
Platoon

Wait is this a trick question or did you not realize Die Harder is the crap sequel to Die Hard with the naked psychopath doing aerobics on camera? Dammit why do I know this!?

Has your man ever kissed another man?
If he has, I don't know about it
X Only when he was really drunk
One time in college
Absolutely not
I have my suspicions
No, but he's kissed a whole lot of women

Why are these the only options? Why isn't there a "yes, but he wasn't drunk, it was New Years and he has kissed a few girls as well."

How does your man feel about porn?
I'm married to an aficionado
He has it for breakfast, lunch and dinner
X Every now and then, he's up for some good porn
He has one porn video that a friend gave to him
My man is disgusted by porn
He likes porn featuring two men

What's wrong with bro porn? Eskimo brothers amirite?

Which hobby would your man most likely participate in?
Bowling
Cooking classes
Cross-stitching
X Paintball
Softball
Ballroom dancing

What are these options? Why can't a man be a good cross-stitcher and not get s*** for it?

Which best describes your man's attitude toward homosexuality?
He's a member of Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)
He's over the top about how much it offends him
X He tolerates it
He doesn't agree with it, but keeps his feelings to himself
He doesn't feel one way or the other about it

I never liked the word tolerate, but I'm not a member of GLAAD. Where is the "he supports option where the other options don'r make you sound like a prude dick?

Which of the following compliments is your man most likely to give you?
You smell good
You look beautiful
I'm lucky if he notices me
Those shoes really set your whole outfit off
X Nice shirt
Is that shirt from Prada's spring line?
I would look so great in your blouse

Obviously because I'm trying to check out her boobs. But those options!? Not all homosexuals are cross dressers!!!

Which of the following would your man most enjoy?
X A Broadway Show
A Wrestling Match
A Poetry Reading
Gay Days at Disney
A Drag Show
A Car Show
A Night At The Opera

Gay Days at Disney... The hell? I love roller coasters, where's that option!? If your husband takes you to Gay Days at Disney and starts making out with Goofy and Pluto, you might have a problem.

Which best describes your man's Internet habits?
X He gets online late at night after I've gone to bed.
He only gets online at work and for work-related projects.
He rushes home and gets online to check his personal e-mail after work.
I've seen some questionable sites in his browsing history.
He surfs straight porn but leaves the gay stuff alone.

I blame you guys

Where does your man shop for his clothes?
He doesn't – I buy all of them.
JCPenney or Sears
K-Mart or Wal-Mart
X Department stores like Macy's
Men's stores like Men's Wearhouse or Brooks Brothers
He only shops in designer boutiques.

You left off the Goodwill option and I will never go to a KMart.

How does your man feel about lesbians or bisexual women?
He likes to watch.
He likes to participate.
X He encourages them to live their life how they want to.
He has many female friends who are gay.
He thinks they're disgusting.

Yeah, there's that question finally!!! My exgirlfriend is a lesbian, but I was the last one she dated, meaning if she couldn't love me for my body then she couldn't love any man... My interpretation.

How many male strangers does your man have on his social networking sites?
X Too many to count
A couple randoms who "friended" him
None
My man doesn't spend time on Facebook, MySpace or any other social networking sites that I know of

Once again, I blame you guys.

What best describes your husband's bathroom routine when he's preparing to go somewhere?
He primps and preens for hours
He spends an average amount of time in the bathroom, but spends hundreds on products
X He's in and out
When it comes to getting ready, he's like a woman

I am mighty efficient.

Which actor would your man say is his favorite?
Angelina Jolie
Ian McKellen
Matthew Broderick
X John Travolta
Judy Garland
Chuck Norris

Vincent Vega for life!!!

Which TV show is your man most likely to watch?
American Idol
House
Whatever's on ESPN
A beauty pageant
America's Next Top Model
X Whatever we agree on watching together

Ehh, I don't watch too much TV, I only go in there to cuddle or hold kids or something. Definitely not sex with men.

My results:

Your man is really in touch with his feminine side
We're not saying your man is gay; we're just saying he might be gay. Maybe he's the consummate metrosexual or maybe the signs point to the fact that there is something he's not telling you -- like the fact that he likes men. At the heart of the matter, it appears your man enjoys some stereotypically "gay" things -- maybe it's ABBA or pink shirts, The Birdcage or cross-stitching or even Broadway. And did we mention your sex life might leave a little to be desired? While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, you probably want to explore the fact that you and your man really aren't a match made in heaven. If you've had your suspicions, it's time to bring them up. While it's a great thing to have something in common with your significant other, your love of the same sex probably shouldn't be that "thing." the consummate metrosexual or maybe the signs point to the fact that there is something he's not telling you -- like the fact that he likes men. At the heart of the matter, it appears your man enjoys some stereotypically "gay" things -- ABBA, pink shirts. The Birdcage, cross-stitching and Broadway. And did we mention your sex life sucks? While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, you probably want to explore the fact that you and your man really aren't a match made in heaven. If you've had your suspicions, it's time to bring them up. While it's a great thing to have something in common with your significant other, your love of the same sex probably shouldn't be that "thing."

My study finds that this quiz is bigoted and lacks any knowledge of being useful to anybody in any way. Should you choose to take the test, don't do so with your wife in the room especially if she's dumb enough to think any of this is worth any legitimate amount.

[nascargo19]

How often do you have sex with your man?
More than once a day
At least once a day
A few times a week
Once a week
A few times a month
Every few months
Once a year

I had to improvise a little bit here. You guys can figure out how I came up with that answer on your own.

Your man is straight as an arrow

Okay, you're married to a guy who likely doesn't like guys... or he does a helluva job hiding it. Your sex life rocks. He's down with porn. He's a beer-guzzling, paintball-shooting, Die-hard watching man's man. You'd never catch him in your closet, or anywhere near a female garment. In some cases, he's almost too "straight," shunning anything that might paint him in a feminine light. While it's great your man likes women, it would also be great if he were a little more open-minded. And that means not being afraid to explore his feminine side every now and then. Of course, he could be overcompensating for his dark little secret. More than likely he's not. Your greatest danger would likely be of him seeking out the company of another woman, not a man.

has MMB taken this test yet?

[Witticus]

Why am I the only one getting the ambiguously gay! I prefer paintball and roller coasters dammit!!!!

[MagicMurderBag7]

Well I took it as though I was my own boyfriend and came up with this

Your man is really in touch with his feminine side We're not saying your man is gay; we're just saying he might be gay. Maybe he's the consummate metrosexual or maybe the signs point to the fact that there is something he's not telling you -- like the fact that he likes men. At the heart of the matter, it appears your man enjoys some stereotypically "gay" things -- maybe it's ABBA or pink shirts, The Birdcage or cross-stitching or even Broadway. And did we mention your sex life might leave a little to be desired? While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, you probably want to explore the fact that you and your man really aren't a match made in heaven. If you've had your suspicions, it's time to bring them up. While it's a great thing to have something in common with your significant other, your love of the same sex probably shouldn't be that "thing." the consummate metrosexual or maybe the signs point to the fact that there is something he's not telling you -- like the fact that he likes men. At the heart of the matter, it appears your man enjoys some stereotypically "gay" things -- ABBA, pink shirts. The Birdcage, cross-stitching and Broadway. And did we mention your sex life sucks? While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, you probably want to explore the fact that you and your man really aren't a match made in heaven. If you've had your suspicions, it's time to bring them up. While it's a great thing to have something in common with your significant other, your love of the same sex probably shouldn't be that "thing."

What's weird is that I didn't choose ABBA, cross-stitching, or The Birdcage for either of those questions.

[nascargo19]

I am terrified of roller coasters. Sucks living so close to Cedar Point because in the summer, it seems like that's all anyone ever talks about around here.

[Witticus]

Well I took it as though I was my own boyfriend and came up with this

What's weird is that I didn't choose ABBA, cross-stitching, or The Birdcage for either of those questions.

I didn't choose those either and it gave me the same response.

[nascargo19]

I didn't say Paintball (chose Bowling instead) and it said I did.

[Witticus]

I didn't say Paintball (chose Bowling instead) and it said I did.

If The Big Lebowski taught me anything, its that bowling is as far from gay as it gets.

[OsagaRockHero]

If your husband takes you to Gay Days at Disney and starts making out with Goofy and Pluto, you might have a problem.

I don't know why, but this made me laugh out loud. Time for a new signature...