What were the last movies you watched?

[LiveHomeVideo]

This brings me to a new goal in life. Have Witticus banned as a forum word.

First, we need to figure out a way to make Witticus sound dirty...

The Witticus! The new position all the hip kids are doing! Just simply [REDACTED], and then [REDACTED]!

[MagicMurderBag7]

I'd Witticus him all night long

[LiveHomeVideo]

As posted in "Movies of 2012"

So there's a this "movie" that came out on DVD (and YouTube) last month called "Foodfight!" It's a kid's movie with Charlie Sheen playing a detective dog in a world where big-name food icons fight the Nazis. Well, they're not really Nazis but the resemblance is so blatant it isn't even funny.

So how could this go wrong?!?

Well, for a movie that's been over five years in the making, IT'S THE WORST PIECE OF S*** MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN! EVERY F***ING THING IS WRONG WITH THIS FILTHY, CORRODED GARBAGE! It is actually worse than Tentacolino. Yes, the movie with a dog and a gay fish fighting rats underwater with lazers is better than this film.

What isn't wrong here? The characters are all unlikable and bland. Most are actual racist stereotypes of the worst kind (a chocolate-themed squirrel with a Boston accent, buck teeth and the average black stereotype slang? Voice by a black man? F***ING REALLY???!!!!????).

The animation is horrendous. The editing makes no sense at all. There's a scene where someone takes a hold of another person, and in the very next shot they're feet apart. Did I say one scene? I mean EVERY F***ING SCENE!

This movie has enough innuendo to make Freddy Got Fingered look tame in comparison. And it's all really f***ing blunt. There's even things that look like innuendos that make no sense, like a woman raising her leg to make a shot that looks like a bunch of planes are coming out of her foxhole. I'm not even sure if this was made for kids, or if Charlie Sheen raided the place while on his "Tiger Blood/Adonis DNA" rampage and decided to take a project and make it a more blunt version of Code Monkeys. With food mascots.

And the plot is so asinine it hurts to even talk about. And if you look at the main romance (Charlie Sheen Dog in love with a cat) it's almost f***ing creepy. Especially when no characters are built up at all. They throw over fifty important characters at us (not even joking) and expect us to feel for each one. The closest thing that we get to character development is that Jim Crow the Squirrel can't do a loop-de-loop on an airplane, but does it at the end.

I just saw this on my YouTube homepage and just had to see what Charlie Sheen as a detective dog was all about. But it sure as hell takes the top place for me for worst film I've ever f***ing seen. The Smurfs? At least it has a plot! Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel? At least the lame references and the innuendos make sense. Tentecolino? At least it wasn't THIS PIECE OF F***ING D*** SUCKING S***!

Negative infinity divided by zero/10.

[LiveHomeVideo]

Atrocious

Yes, there's a movie called "Atrocious." But it isn't that bad.

It's a found footage horror flick, sure, but for being a Spanish version of Paranormal Activity it isn't all that bad. And by that I mean it's cheesy and hilarious.

This family is going to a mansion that they used to live in where a rumor is speculating of a spirit (or something) lurking it the labyrinth that'll either help you out if you get lost or kill you (there's actually different versions of the tale). One of the teens and his girlfriend take their cameras and go around pointing them everywhere.

The special effects are actually really good, and the acting isn't bad. But it's the premise and the delivery of said premise that make this movie unintentionally funny. I won't spoil the end twist, but it makes sense, and yet it's still stupid and needs explaining.

But somehow I liked it enough. It's one of those movies you could watch and riff while drunk and have a good time.

7/10

[SuperTigerMario]

I watched Clerks for the first time.

It was pretty great. TBH I never knew it was in black and white. I thought it was pretty creative and especially considering how young Smith was when he made it.

[Dante1847]

you've seen Clerks 2? blasphemy maybe, but I enjoy that more than the original

[SuperTigerMario]

Actually yeah I saw the 2nd one a while back and I actually thought it was the original. Obviously I was surprised once I started this one. I'd have to see the 2nd again but they seem so different to me it's hard to compare.

Is your name a Clerks reference BTW?

[Dante1847]

true, they do differ a bit. I dunno, I think the "Pillow Pants" scene being shot with the music from The Exorcist set Clerks 2 over the top for me. love that part of the movie.

and no, my names not a reference.

[LoopyChew]

My favorite part of Clerks 2 will always be the ABC scene. It's just so alive that it really makes the film for me. The increase in color during that bit also worked in its favor, and I don't think I'll ever tire of Rosario Dawson just looking like she's having fun.

Speaking of Kevin Smith stable actors, Argo was an awesome flick, even if the most tense moments (except maybe for the execution scene) weren't part of the actual drama. It was very enjoyable, and yes, Alan Arkin and John Goodman steal the show despite being bit players.

[topdrawer]

Airbourne

- damn this movie was bad

Excision

This movie wasnt very good but it was weird enough to be entertaining. Pauline is definitely an interesting character. Kinda like a psychtic napoleon dynamite

Die

- this movie was beyond dumb. And the color grading was incredibly overdone. Moreso than a michael bay film