Horrid Henry: The Movie
In search of some fodder for my film review series (whenever I get around to reviving it), I ran across this British family comedy, and thought "Well I have enough Asian flicks, but not too many British ones. Hopefully this will be better than the average American family flick."
Never have I been so wrong.
I don't want to spoil too much of it, since that's what my review series is for. But oh my God, I haven't broken down mid-movie since Foodfight, and that film was pure evil. I could pretend that this was actually a symbolic look at the psyche of a schizophrenic elementary school student and try to like it, but I'm pretty sure this was just the product of some producers trying to spend their drug dealing money. The film starts out sane enough, and in fact is rather reminiscent to what Malcolm Meets the Middle would look like had it starred Denis the Menace. But about ten minutes in there's already so much spastic horror (spastic as in energetic or hyper, not as in the offensive term) thrown in your face, and we haven't even gotten the plot kicked in.
The main lead is a truly despicable kid, and I have no idea why anyone would want to base a comic series around him (yeah, this is pretty much an adaptation of the British version of Denis the Menace). There are so many horrible things that happen to people who you can't help but feel did not deserve it, and it is either his fault or believed to be his fault. I hate this character; he is more than an antagonistic hero, and more like a straight-up antagonist that the films expects people to root for.
This is also a musical, and every single musical number is an assault on the senses. I could have swore I didn't smoke or take anything before watching this, but I'm not fully convinced that I'm sober right now. The visuals are trippy as balls, and the sound of the music itself is something out of a fever dream. It's all atrocious, and I would not wish even more worst enemies go through this trauma.
The visuals in this movie range from strange and awkward to something out of Hell itself. There are visuals here that might be the subject of my night terrors for weeks to come. There's a game show in this film that would scare the f*** out of anyone involved. Hell, if acid punk were a genre, this would be it's visual counterpart, only 10x scarier.
I thought this films was, well, horrid. And as some clever fellow on the IMDB review pages put it, "Remove 'Henry' from the title and you have a review."
0/10 Would not subject myself to again... except for when I write a video review...
*insert internet meme/negative reaction face here*