hmxleo’s Profile

 Many a time, I find myself driving through the city and I'm greeted by people with a cheerful "That's my car! Someone call the cops!" Well, actually that's a big lie since I don't drive here. I have a couple cars back home in California, however I chose not to drive here because of the sweet sensual efficiency known as the subway.

Does this make me an environmentalist? Am I changing the planet by not driving? Am I focused so much on my health that I feel a brisk walk from home to the station would do me some good? Hardly! I'm simply exercising my right to ride the rails like many a good hobo. Albeit that the rails are air conditioned, cleaned, and are sans campfires in oil barrels, it still is something I cherish.

Am I telling people to denounce the automobile? Telling you to sell your car so you can explore the freedom and danger of public transportation (by the way freedom + danger = excitement)? Nah. I'm just saying, as a guy who focuses on more on the "Reuse" part of the recycling trifecta (Recycle, Reuse, Reduce, I don't know if that slogan applies here..) that the subway is a raw resource that can be harnessed. It has what ever you need, shelter, climate control, and food.

This is my ode to the subway, where I will be sure I will meet my future ex-wife.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

It's late. It's been too long since I've heard from anyone. I can only travel during daylight to get the raw material from my shelter. Night falls quietly, like a shrouded assassin, and is only heard when it wants to be heard. I hear the roaring of motors from what is called "the clean up crew." It's scary, cold, and lonely. I have survived three nights thus far, each morning I wake up, I ask myself "Will you make it another day?" "Do you possess the mental stamina to hold onto that fragment of hope? The hope to go on?"

I must go, forage for sustenance, until then. I wish you all well, and may the time with your families be cherished.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I  won't let words ruin it. You're welcome, and enjoy.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Greetings to all my fellow humanoids. I had an excellent blog on how to cure terminal illness with the medicinal powers of cardboard, however there are more pressing matters at hand. Last night, I had finished my cardboard couch. I would have posted pictures but the glue needed to dry first. But, that is not what I wanted to report. It turns out my couch doubled as a time machine and upon walking into it I found out the glorious future.

I didn't know what year it was but I assumed it was 20 years in the future since the Harmonix employees I have grown to live with and love have all "grow'd up." It seems that Rock Band XIV is being worked on. Roman numerals are used to throw off our robotic, binary counterparts. Upon re-meeting the staff, I met Sean Baptiste, or as he is known in the future as Dr. Emily Warburg. My thanks to the good doctor as he had also created a time machine for me to travel back. Unfortunately last night I wasn't able to patent my own creation.

I was told my future self wasn't available since I had apparently been drafted to the war on Mars, and is apparently addicted to space crack and martian ladies of the night. I would have gone to California, however since it had broken off into the ocean, the Californian Air Force had increased it's armada to several "Choppahs" due to the Governator's huge intake of power. No, not like political power, more like.. nuclear power. He's a cyborg for real now, and rules the island of California.

Anyway, President Aaron Neville has taken position as "Leader of the Free World" and due to his vocal stylings, his "Presidency of Peace" campaign has gone off successfully, and his silky smooth voice has definitely impacted the ladies.

Well, I'm back, and that's all I have to report. That's not much of a detailed report of the future, however feel free to ask any questions and I will answer them to the best of my ability. Although, I don't know if I'll be able to come back to the future quickly, since during my time trip, I accidentally touched Sean's boob.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

So last week, I ate some moldly cheesecake, to my surprise it was for money. With that money I have secured myself a weapons cache of nerf weaponry.

Now, I'm a veteran of airsoft and paintball and sometimes I turn standard capture the flag games into day-long LARPing sessions. From watching a bunch of movies, I end up creating an unnecessary persona. When I get hit, I fall to the ground and yell to my comrades for help. Asking for them to carry me to the closest DMZ.

It is with this, where I started growing my natural resourcefulness. After foraging in the woods, I would gather large grubs for our squad to eat, only to be reminded that my friends have brought a grill and some burgers. In the middle of combat I would tackle my "wounded" teammate and apply tourniquets to their necks telling them to "Stay calm man! We'll make it stateside!" Needless to say I wasn't very popular, however I was the most thoughtful. Well, I no longer play since during a game I took my pants off to make a protective face mask for a teammate because I would have thought he had gotten "powder burns."

Well, it seems that the war has shifted from the woods behind Denny's to the offices of Harmonix. Since I have "fake" combat experience, I'll have to show these guys how to survive a heated nerf war. Due to the fact that we are currently working our asses off, this might have to wait, however, I'm planning to make a tank out of cardboard.

Stay tuned!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007