Author Archive
The Hellion
The End: Oh My God, The Last One Ever
When Brett Milano first suggested the idea of the "52 Weeks in the Life of a Rockstar" project, I guffawed. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / 8 comments
Are We Famous Yet?: How To Know When You've Made It Big
A month or so ago, my band VAGIANT was playing at a basement show. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, be-a-rockstar, joan-jett / 7 comments
Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away): How To Kick Out A Bandmate Without Getting Kicked Wicked Hard In The Shins
A band can be a fragile thing. Sometimes the chemistry is perfect – you all love nothing more than sitting around in the space chugging Clamweiser and writing Deep Purple rip-offs about how great you look in Capri pants. But sometimes the chemistry isn't so hot. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, dealing-with-bandmates / 21 comments
How To Win Fans And Influence People: Projecting “Rockability” Onstage
A few years before I started working at Harmonix, I got into this big argument with my roommate at the time over who should be called the “greatest front man in history.” I said Iggy Pop; she said Jason Kendall of the Amazing Royal Crowns. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, be-a-rockstar, playing-live / 13 comments
You CAN Come Home Again, But You'll Never Get The Smell Out Of Your Bomber Jacket: The Hellion's Tour Diaries, Part 4
It wasn't me. I swear. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, playing-live / 19 comments
Most Likely To Succeed: The Hellion's Tour Diaries, Part 3
I know that lots of things have changed since I was in high school. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, playing-live, dealing-with-bandmates / 9 comments
On Tour And In Trouble: The Hellion’s Tour Diaries, Part 2
About two years ago, my band VAGIANT was approached by our Number One Superfan, an affable chap named Wes, about playing a show in a hotel for his birthday party in Virginia. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, playing-live / 7 comments
Nancy Is A Punk Rocker: The Hellion’s Tour Diaries, Part 1
I recently came back from my first tour with my band VAGIANT and the very badass boys of Razors in the Night. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, playing-live / 17 comments
Just Lust: A Guide To Making Your Fans Want To French Kiss You Big Time
Like many of you (okay, ALL of you) I started a band in the hopes that it would ultimately lead to bath-time make-outs with ridiculously attractive people. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, be-a-rockstar, joan-jett / 22 comments
For Those About To Stalk: How To Handle Your Fans Now That You Actually Have A Few
I am not the popular one in my band. That would be LoWreck. Here is a sample of the type of email we receive on a fairly regular basis: Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, be-a-rockstar / 12 comments
Personality Crisis: Tips On Getting Along With Your Bandmates
I want to state right off the bat that I am totally qualified to write about how to get along with your bandmates. I know this because, at the time of writing this, I have punched only one of my bandmates in the face. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, dealing-with-bandmates / 7 comments
It Is Really Unlikely That Your Arm Will Suddenly Snap Off: Fear And Your First Show
When I was a kid, I was scared of almost everything. I was what child psychologists might call a “highly imaginative child,” which is what a normal person would call... Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, start-a-band, promoting-your-band, playing-live / 22 comments
Gimme Gimme Gimme: Gifts For Your Bandmates That Hopefully Won’t Result In Them Taking A Tremendous Pee In Your Coat Closet
Hey everybody, HMXHellion here, freshly plumped with a couple extra pounds of lovin’, cheerfully gained on my Thanksgiving weekend diet, composed of such health-conscious foods as “bacon grease” and “stuff cooked in bacon grease.” After eating enough to feed a bathtub full of panthers, I spent much of the weekend shopping, as, I’m sure, did many of you. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, dealing-with-bandmates / 16 comments
Fashion Victim: Dressing Like A Rockstar
I don’t know anything about fashion. I feel I should get that out of the way right now. The best item of clothing I've ever owned was a pair of R2D2 Underoos that I had when I was 6, and I'm pretty sure that even back then I wasn't accessorizing properly. My co-worker and fashion-plate gal pal Naoko Takamoto (who is a member of Rock Band's own That Handsome Devil) once told me, "Your taste in shoes is like your taste in dudes: sometimes I see something so revolting that I immediately think, 'Oh man, I should tell Helen about this, she would love it.'" Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, be-a-rockstar / 15 comments
This Gear’s Model: Extremely General Tips On Finding The Right Gear For You
Welcome back, everyone, to another installment of 52 Weeks in the Life of a Rock Band. I’ve gotten some great feedback from all of you about this series and have received some fantastic questions as well. In response to the most-commonly asked question, yes, Alex Rigopulos really is that dreamy in real life. And what follows here is my attempt at answering the second most-commonly asked question: what kind of gear should I get? Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, start-a-band / 13 comments
Husker Don’t: Picking A Band Name And Learning To Live With It
Let’s imagine, for a moment, that you’re deciding what to do on a Friday night. You’ve looked at the schedules for all the venues in your area, and you recognize none of the bands playing, but as a good little Rock Band fan, you are committed to the idea of seeing some live music, however unfamiliar. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, start-a-band / 30 comments
Hell, It Turns Out, IS A Bad Place To Be: Finding A Rehearsal Space
People who know me know that I am not particularly "precious" when it comes to cleanliness. I’ve been known to eat fried chicken that I drunkenly left sitting on a stack of LP’s in my living room overnight... three days later. My desk at work features such interesting detritus as pistachio shells, snapped guitar strings, and at any given moment, at least seven mostly empty Polar seltzer bottles. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, start-a-band, dealing-with-bandmates / 12 comments
The Hellion's Guide To Rock: Part Two
The Hellion's follow-up post to picking an instrument teaches you how to pick your bandmates. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, joan-jett, start-a-band, dealing-with-bandmates / 10 comments
The Hellion's Guide To Rock: Part One
TheHellion gives tips on how to start a band, even if you already have a 401k and don't know how to play an instrument. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, joan-jett, struggling-musicians, start-a-band / 26 comments
52 Weeks To Rock Introduction
The year was 1982. I don’t remember where I was, but my family didn’t have cable, so I must’ve been at a babysitter’s house after nursery school. Read full post »
Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxhellion, joan-jett, struggling-musicians / 29 comments
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