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I Got A Free Bird For Ya, Buddy: Dealing With Hecklers

Filed under: 52 Weeks to Rock / Tags: hmxmusoman, playing-live / 14 comments

If you've played a lot of Rock Band, you know what happens when the band screws up a song: the audience boos, the singer throws a little hissy-fit with the microphone, everybody gives the drummer a dirty look, and the band gets to try again. But of course, nothing ever runs that smoothly in real life. If you've ever seen a band get heckled, you know what can happen: Non-T rated words might get spoken, somebody might get hurt, and the song probably won't get replayed. Some things never change, though: In real life, everybody still gives the drummer a dirty look.

Never mind how awesome you are: Sooner or later, your band is going to get heckled. This literally happens to the best of us—In fact, one of the best live albums ever recorded, Iggy & the Stooges' Metallic KO, was taped before an audience that hated them (You can even hear a bottle narrowly missing Iggy's head after he taunts them by playing an obscene version of "Louie Louie"). But unless you're Iggy and you can take the punishment, you need to work out a few defenses. You can't name your band You Suck and write a song called "Get Off the F^&*ing Stage"—That's been done. (This deservedly short-lived NYC band used to respond to the inevitable catcalls with, "Yeah, that's us! Sure, we'll do that song!" It was funny the first time).

It takes a certain genius to get even with an audience you don't like: One of my favorite examples happened at a Ramones concert some years ago. People who went to Ramones concerts usually wanted loud fast punk and nothing else; throw a tuneful power-pop band up there and they'll get eaten alive. Which was exactly what happened when I saw a band called the Rubinoos open for them: They did a couple sweet little songs about wanting to be somebody's boyfriend and the crowd started throwing things (never mind that the Ramones had quite a few songs on the same topic). "You can boo us off the stage, but you know what's gonna happen? They're going to start playing the disco tape," chided the Rubinoos' front man. The boos got louder after that—and sure enough, the sound system then provided a solid hour of KC & the Sunshine Band and the Village People. The Rubinoos were reported to be having a good laugh backstage.

When an audience starts to get the better of you, it's worth remembering that you have a wall of amplifiers and they don't. One of our Rock Band faves, Dinosaur Jr., used to be famous for pre-emptive sonic strikes: Whenever an audience even looked like it was going to be unfriendly, they turned it up that much louder to pummel them into submission. When I first saw them at the Rat in Boston (where audiences tended to look surly whether they liked the band or not), J Mascis' guitar was carrying up the stairs, out the door, and down the street. In later years, when it was pretty clear that audiences liked them, they kept playing at this volume just because it was fun.

You have a certain power when you're onstage, and some bands aren't afraid to use it. Robert Pollard, the former leader of the great indie band Guided by Voices, has a habit of telling fans exactly what's on his mind. During one show I saw, this involved a grudge against a rival indie-rocker whom Pollard assumed to be miles away. "That guy can [perform a sexual act on me]," Pollard suggested. Then a fan pointed out that the guy was in fact present. "What, you mean he's here?" Pollard asked, momentarily rattled. Then he rebounded in a hurry. "Good! Tell him he can [perform a sexual act on me]!" That's called having the courage of your convictions.

When all else fails, you can always beat people up. This is not recommended, but I've seen it happen. The one band I've seen resort to fisticuffs shall remain nameless, but they were a Boston band that was renowned for wearing costumes and affecting a certain rarified air onstage. One night there was a guy upfront who accused them, a little too audibly, of being sissies. The lead singer took matters into his own hands, and you know you've been dissed when you get punched out by a guy wearing a bleached wig and whiteface.

Sometimes heckling can even improve a show. I have a friend who paid big money to see a Very Famous Irish Band on three consecutive nights, and got a little miffed that they played the exact same show each time. Since their lead singer is a man of the people and all, my friend got close enough to pass him a note, politely requesting that he be a little less predictable. The singer read the note to himself, ripped it in half, threw it on the stage, gave my friend a really dirty look and returned to the show as expected…until the end, when the band came back for an unplanned second encore with two rare songs that hadn't been played in ages; the singer glaring at my friend all through them. Don't all thank her at once.

Finally, every band needs to be warned of the impending "Free Bird": Because you know that some yahoo in the audience is going to yell for it sooner or later. I've seen at least one band respond by flipping the middle finger at the offender and saying "I got a free bird for ya, buddy!" The only surefire way of shutting them up is to go ahead and play the thing, all ten minutes of it (I once saw this done by an acoustic band who did the big guitar workout on violin). This is only funny, however, if you don't happen to really be Lynyrd Skynyrd—but anyone who yells "Free Bird" at a Skynyrd show is clueless anyway. Like, you really thought they were going to leave without playing it?.

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Flux_Capacitor22...

Ian MacKaye was the master of politeness when dealing with hecklers and unwanted behavior. 'Excuse me, sir, would you please cut that crap out?'

Saturday, August 8, 2009

grunge 101...

bull s h i t! you can blame the bassist it takes as much effert to play the bass as guitar.think about it the bassist is always in solo

Friday, June 5, 2009

llamapix...

D o c u m e n t a r y is not a bad word : )

Friday, May 15, 2009

llamapix...

For a great movie do***entary on artists turning the tables on the hecklers, check out "Heckler." There are scenes of people going to extremes like a stand-up comic beating a heckler with his guitar. Also one with a filmmaker who challenges his critics to a boxing match.... And they take him up on it! You have to see it to believe it. It's on Showtime now I think or you can Netflix it.

Friday, May 15, 2009

llamapix...

There's a Dave Alvin live album that captures a moment where some smartass in the audience requests Free Bird... and they actually play it. It's very cool to hear them improvise on the fly like that. It was obvious it wasn't rehearsed. It was a little sloppy but fun as hell.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Jaden-San...

My favorite comeback to heckling was actually done by a very mellow, peaceful music-making redheaded piano player who responded to the heckling with: Now, LOOK, you mother@#$%, This is my @#$% stage! You can @#$% SHOOT me off it!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Gaspar...

The Rubinoos were the band that did that song that Avril Lavigne basically covered with a gender switch and, well, not being good.

Nice to hear that [band] will let them eat their fists if the cake and the rock don't cut it. Wink wink nudge nudge blah blah blah.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

ubercorpreal...

to go with what bassman said, you can never blame the bassist, even if it is there fault!

Monday, May 4, 2009

2-B-M-e...

FREE BIRD!

That's why i love Axl Rose so much, cause he'll tell people to shut the Front door, and punch their lights out if they don't.

Monday, May 4, 2009

oliwer...

Yuo Gona ****ing Not Sexy, IDIOT!
HA HAHAHAHHAHAHhah- ahahahahahaha-

Sunday, May 3, 2009

metallicafred75...

jacksonville - unf arena - stp show (april 2002)...bottle of water hits weiland in the chest in the middle of a song. weiland stops, seconds later band stops. weiland, who looked like he could, threatened the unknown tosser. crouched at the edge of the stage and said he'd pay $1000 to whoever pointed out who threw it so he could beat the living "poo"(no, he didn't actually say poo) out of them. then the band got together and said $3000 cash. if i hadn't been on the opposite side of where it was thrown i would have pointed at my brother-in-law.- i was rather disappointed when nobody came forth though. weiland looked like he could've done some damage with how he looked and how angry he was. happened at a metallica show too where hetfield got hit with a cup o beer. and this sorry town wonders why few good bands come here anymore. but it was a sight to see.

Friday, May 1, 2009

HeavyHorse...

Hahaha, amazing article. Yeah, my bud and I used to have discussions on the bus ride to school about Iggy;s crazy-as-hell antics, which always ended with "Damn that guy's a badass...".

I love the polite note handing too. Usually a crowd would be rowdy and loud about their requests, but your friend took the time to write a note (and it worked!). That's really incredible, especially since it worked.

The response to "Free Bird!" chants are hilarious too, never thought of reversing it like that. As great as that song is, you can't play it so constantly. Soon their's going to be a "NO FREE BIRD" sign right beside the original. You know which sign I'm talking about.

Again, great article. Really enjoyed it.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

grunge 101...

dont forget about victor wooten

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Bassman23...

Some times being a bassist (yes, i meen in real life.) can be a good thing because no one ever pays any attention to u unless ur geddy lee, john myung or tim commerfold anyway, so they'll never give u a dirty look!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

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